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Dew's Clan

Humans need fantasy to be human - Sir Terry Pratchett

Ancient Lair

among the

Colonnades of Antiquity

Clan Info

Two Rivers Times

"From the Dust We Rise, to the Dust We Return."

Two Rivers is heavily inspired by Terry Pratchett's Discworld and the Welcome to Night Vale podcast. Please take the content warnings seriously, but all lore on FR is PG-13.

Potential Content Warnings: Dissociation, Body Horror, Unexplained Happenings/Disappearances, Missing Peoples, Shifting/Changing Reality

"Dodo Care:
Do's and Don't's"
Pg. 143b

"Stop Eating Acorns!
There is better food!"
Pg. 90a

"The Controversy of the
Cleansing Elixir"
Pg. 80b

TOURIST INCOMING: WHO ARE THEY? WHY HERE?

There are people out there called 'tourist' which wander around, taking pictures, buying things, and reading out of 'guidebooks'. Two Rivers does not have such a book, but that has not stopped the 'tourists' from coming.

Who are they? Why are they coming to our peaceful desert town?

We have a statement from Lord Irwin himself about these strange visitors, that we obtained by knocking repeatedly on his door and screaming in panic until he graced us with his presence after his scheduled afternoon tea.

"Tourists are nothing to be afraid of," Lord Irwin said, "and can bring plenty of fresh commerce to town. Be polite and kind. Remember that even tourists are beholden to our laws once they enter our desert."

Clearly if the Patrician himself is not concerned, then citizens should not be. Still, be on the safe side and prepare your rabbit mace, just in case of an emergency.

General Ariadne Begs Youth to Stop Going Into the Desert for the "Lulz"

General Ariadne begs the local youth to stop going into the desert for the "lulz", citing dangerous changes in weather and unknown phenomenon.

A Times reporter got this message from her at a town hall meeting:

"Listen, I know it's funny to go into the desert and throw rocks at the staircases and statues that randomly appear and then go away the next day, but it really isn't safe. Already we've had to get several folks out of wells in the desert that we didn't even know existed! I get it, Two Rivers can be a bit boring, but please do something other than going into the desert. Considering getting a hobby or joining an after-school program."

Local youth do not seem to be taking the warning seriously as more and more are going into the desert just for the fun of it, some screeching "YOLO" as they go.

Sir Rick has this to say:

"I don't care what you do. Just stop waking me up at 3 am expecting me to care about your friend that got kidnapped by something from the Reverse, alright? They'll be fine. They always come back. Sure, their head might spin around a bit and they talk in tongues, but you all took that risk when going out there without a guide."

To this, General Ariadne responded,

"Please don't listen to him and come to us when there is a problem. We are here to help everyone when they are in need. No matter what time."

At this point in the town hall meeting, Sir Rick took the microphone and said,

"I'm not. The next person to wake me up because you lot decided to be idiots gets tossed into the Chasm to Nowhere."

General Ariadne looked exhausted and did not wish to take anymore questions.

COMMUNITY REMINDERS

Two Rivers is a town that supports Exalting at any time for any reason!

"We aren't quite sure what happens with Exalting, but we do know their likeness sometimes appears in the desert, screaming at the sky. It's a wonderful experience, I hear," says local Exalt Trainer Darius.

--

Townsfolk are not typically up for moving, even for a substantial amount of funds. Those who mark themselves as "Sales" are the only ones looking to move from our wonderful town for some reason. Something about the rabbits being man-eating monsters. Guess they didn't make enough rabbit mace out of mint!

"Not in sales? Has a familiar? Has apparel? Not up for grabs! Please stop attempting to kidnap the townsfolk. They bite and we are running out of antidotes," says Dr. Dimitri Lorenski, "I can't keep running around preventing people from vanishing into the Reverse. Come on. I have a life."

WANTED: PAYMENTS OFFERED

Nothing yet!

SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL BUSINESSES

ALL SHOPS ARE CURRENTLY CLOSED DUE TO THE ESCAPED RABBITS. PLEASE HAVE YOUR RABBIT MACE AT THE READY.

Dragon Emblem Adopts - Turn your dragon into a Monster Hunter inspired emblem!

Dew's Art Shop - Look no further for some art! Stop on by today!

Dancing Goat Lore Shop - We're not quite sure how a dancing goat can give you lore, but it's an interesting process to watch.