hi once again guys ! i hope some people still remember me for dragon dressing, tundra gening and whatever ! but today i'm here for another thing
today i'm not here for any dragon gening, but for opinions on my self written lore !
it took me about fifteen minutes to only come up with the story and also about twenty minutes to write, so i really need some opinion from other people
if you actually wanna read it but you're too lazy to actually go to my profile and click on rising ? no problem ! i'll also put the clan lore in here for y'all
but if you guys like to actually see the stuff yourself ? then click my dragon lair and be sure to press on Rising !
i'm really nervous though due to the way i see other people write, but please hit me with your most honest opinion on my writing skills !!
WRITING ATTEMPT
" you are banned to the outsiders, Arvias, " Spot said, cocking his head to the side to give Rising a look, rolling his eyes of course. he was done with her, she did such bad things and everyone kept giving them chances. " I'm sure your parents will be extremely disappointed for what you're getting yourself into now. first you try to end off Spot, " Rising said. " and now you tried to kill one of the hatchlings, and tried to steal eggs from different dragon clans from different elements, don't you jus understand it's DANGREROUS what you're doing ,? and how many times do we have to keep telling you to use your power smartly. the thing is, dear. you 're gonna get replaced now. you're not worthy of carrying around your cleaver anymore since you only use it for your selfishness. And now, Nifty will replace your spot. you will be ". Rising finished her sentence and turned around to walk away with spot, they were gonna return to their dens, leaving Arvias there. who seemed like she didn't care at all, as if she wanted, or planned for this to happen.
The other dragons looked at Arvias, who only got a hiss from her to quit looking, she hated it when they all looked at her, but still, it was her fault after all she got herself into this, and not any other dragon's fault.
And not much later that evening she laid down in the dens for the outsiders, resting her head on her paws as she looked up at the sky. she looked distracted, almost upset if you carefully looked, or if you had the guts to look at her. Once repeated; She hated it when others looked at her. And now she also will be treated like a prisoner, and not as an actual member of the clan anymore, but life went on, and eventually she got used to it. she didn't care anymore, she always was alone, she didn't want any comapny besides her familiar, the only one who still cared about Arvias. The others, who kept trying to talk ? Told off. by her.
Right now the main dragons were having a meeting, but she wasn't close enough to actually eavesdrop about what the meeting was for, but they were obviously having a serious talkig. maybe it was about her. . .
nobody knows besides the main dragons, and everytime someone asks them what the meeting was about ? They won't say a thing, no matter what you offer them, they swore to the stormcatcher they won't tell any secrets to other dragons, family or not. their job was important, the main dragons kept the clan safe, and made sure it always was well fed for battle if it was needed to...
END WRITING ATTEMPTS
thank you so much for actually reading through it if you did and if there's any spelling errors please @ me !!
thanks once again !!
today i'm not here for any dragon gening, but for opinions on my self written lore !
it took me about fifteen minutes to only come up with the story and also about twenty minutes to write, so i really need some opinion from other people
if you actually wanna read it but you're too lazy to actually go to my profile and click on rising ? no problem ! i'll also put the clan lore in here for y'all
but if you guys like to actually see the stuff yourself ? then click my dragon lair and be sure to press on Rising !
i'm really nervous though due to the way i see other people write, but please hit me with your most honest opinion on my writing skills !!
WRITING ATTEMPT
" you are banned to the outsiders, Arvias, " Spot said, cocking his head to the side to give Rising a look, rolling his eyes of course. he was done with her, she did such bad things and everyone kept giving them chances. " I'm sure your parents will be extremely disappointed for what you're getting yourself into now. first you try to end off Spot, " Rising said. " and now you tried to kill one of the hatchlings, and tried to steal eggs from different dragon clans from different elements, don't you jus understand it's DANGREROUS what you're doing ,? and how many times do we have to keep telling you to use your power smartly. the thing is, dear. you 're gonna get replaced now. you're not worthy of carrying around your cleaver anymore since you only use it for your selfishness. And now, Nifty will replace your spot. you will be ". Rising finished her sentence and turned around to walk away with spot, they were gonna return to their dens, leaving Arvias there. who seemed like she didn't care at all, as if she wanted, or planned for this to happen.
The other dragons looked at Arvias, who only got a hiss from her to quit looking, she hated it when they all looked at her, but still, it was her fault after all she got herself into this, and not any other dragon's fault.
And not much later that evening she laid down in the dens for the outsiders, resting her head on her paws as she looked up at the sky. she looked distracted, almost upset if you carefully looked, or if you had the guts to look at her. Once repeated; She hated it when others looked at her. And now she also will be treated like a prisoner, and not as an actual member of the clan anymore, but life went on, and eventually she got used to it. she didn't care anymore, she always was alone, she didn't want any comapny besides her familiar, the only one who still cared about Arvias. The others, who kept trying to talk ? Told off. by her.
Right now the main dragons were having a meeting, but she wasn't close enough to actually eavesdrop about what the meeting was for, but they were obviously having a serious talkig. maybe it was about her. . .
nobody knows besides the main dragons, and everytime someone asks them what the meeting was about ? They won't say a thing, no matter what you offer them, they swore to the stormcatcher they won't tell any secrets to other dragons, family or not. their job was important, the main dragons kept the clan safe, and made sure it always was well fed for battle if it was needed to...
END WRITING ATTEMPTS
thank you so much for actually reading through it if you did and if there's any spelling errors please @ me !!
thanks once again !!