Guys help!! I'm asexual, but I'm also heteroromantic, and one of my biggest fears is that I'll fall in love with someone, and they won't want to be with me because I'm asexual
and I just read a poem for my poetry class and it was basically this guy who fell in love with a girl and she was interested in him too, but she just wanted to let him know that she had a double mastectomy and he said that he just couldn't get into a relationship with her then because of it
and now I'm just super sad and scared again and wondering if my fear has real ground to it and I'm kind of sad now
Like why are people so focused on bodies?
Sorry for ranting...
Help me feel better?
Guys help!! I'm asexual, but I'm also heteroromantic, and one of my biggest fears is that I'll fall in love with someone, and they won't want to be with me because I'm asexual
and I just read a poem for my poetry class and it was basically this guy who fell in love with a girl and she was interested in him too, but she just wanted to let him know that she had a double mastectomy and he said that he just couldn't get into a relationship with her then because of it
and now I'm just super sad and scared again and wondering if my fear has real ground to it and I'm kind of sad now
Like why are people so focused on bodies?
Sorry for ranting...
Help me feel better?
I've been in the same position. kinda in the same position right now (except im demi). Just know that if someone tries to force you into something or thinks you arent good enough because you dont do the do, they dont deserve you!! also ill beat them up for you
I've been in the same position. kinda in the same position right now (except im demi). Just know that if someone tries to force you into something or thinks you arent good enough because you dont do the do, they dont deserve you!! also ill beat them up for you
Like the others said, if someone tries to force or guilt you into doing something you don't want, get out of the relationship. They are clearly demonstrating they do not respect you and that will only get worse as time goes on.
Yes, it's tricky as an asexual to find a partner who understands that you aren't 'driven' the way most people tend to be. They ARE out there though, so don't feel like you have to 'settle' for someone who isn't asexual. It's not fair to you or to them.
Like the others said, if someone tries to force or guilt you into doing something you don't want, get out of the relationship. They are clearly demonstrating they do not respect you and that will only get worse as time goes on.
Yes, it's tricky as an asexual to find a partner who understands that you aren't 'driven' the way most people tend to be. They ARE out there though, so don't feel like you have to 'settle' for someone who isn't asexual. It's not fair to you or to them.
When you find a relationship, make sure its a long lasting one and you two match perfectly. If not, you'll end up like most relationships these days.
I personally don't have a relationship yet :(
I need to get myself a girl
When you find a relationship, make sure its a long lasting one and you two match perfectly. If not, you'll end up like most relationships these days.
I personally don't have a relationship yet :(
I need to get myself a girl
@
keet
This probably sounds cheesy but if someone only wants you for your body then they aren't good for you! You deserve somebody who will love you for who you are, and I'm sure you'll find that person c:
@
keet
This probably sounds cheesy but if someone only wants you for your body then they aren't good for you! You deserve somebody who will love you for who you are, and I'm sure you'll find that person c:
LizardKing nailed it IMO, you'll have to look for someone you're compatible with.
The fact is MOST people are sexual and it's very likely that if you're not selective about your potential partners you'll find yourself with feelings for someone who isn't compatible with you sexually. No, it isn't fair for you to be involved in a relationship where both of you have vastly different expectations about sex, but it is also not fair for them either, so be open and clear about your expectations before you enter a relationship. Make it known that you are asexual and if people turn you down because of it, it's for the best.
LizardKing nailed it IMO, you'll have to look for someone you're compatible with.
The fact is MOST people are sexual and it's very likely that if you're not selective about your potential partners you'll find yourself with feelings for someone who isn't compatible with you sexually. No, it isn't fair for you to be involved in a relationship where both of you have vastly different expectations about sex, but it is also not fair for them either, so be open and clear about your expectations before you enter a relationship. Make it known that you are asexual and if people turn you down because of it, it's for the best.
Well, sex can come with immense positive emotions. Not to mention the heavy chemical bonding that takes place. So it's importance to a lot of people is understandable. It is, by biology, in fact a need for a lot of people. Also, undermining a sexual persons wants and feelings is just as rude as doing it to an asexual person. It's not about you "not being good enough" for them. You just aren't compatible. No one is any less than any one else.
I agree that the asexual dating app would be the best place to start. As there would be the base understanding from every on the app. I wish you the best of luck.
Well, sex can come with immense positive emotions. Not to mention the heavy chemical bonding that takes place. So it's importance to a lot of people is understandable. It is, by biology, in fact a need for a lot of people. Also, undermining a sexual persons wants and feelings is just as rude as doing it to an asexual person. It's not about you "not being good enough" for them. You just aren't compatible. No one is any less than any one else.
I agree that the asexual dating app would be the best place to start. As there would be the base understanding from every on the app. I wish you the best of luck.
@
keet
this has been plaguing me more than usual as well. I'm in the exact same boat as you (in fact, I think we've talked before); ace heteroromantic. On top of that I'm also demi-grayromantic so it takes a while for me to find someone I like or have the potential to like, and I rarely ever do. Only once in my life.
I've been feeling lonely lately and I really like hugs and stuff and that sort of fluffy closeness but you can't just curl up and relax with normal friends. I do get hugs, but it's not the same, really.
Everyone I know is either aro/ace or not ace at all and I feel so alone all the time. I can't try a dating app; while I'm an adult, my parents would never, ever accept any partner i found 'online.' They don't even think people can have online friends. Should I like fling fliers around my campus? (No don't do that.)
It's a big problem, and I hope you have better luck than me. I'm sending hugs and good wishes. <3
EDIT: Actually one of my friends has an ace/non aro datemate so I do know one RL person like me. They're really nice.
@
keet
this has been plaguing me more than usual as well. I'm in the exact same boat as you (in fact, I think we've talked before); ace heteroromantic. On top of that I'm also demi-grayromantic so it takes a while for me to find someone I like or have the potential to like, and I rarely ever do. Only once in my life.
I've been feeling lonely lately and I really like hugs and stuff and that sort of fluffy closeness but you can't just curl up and relax with normal friends. I do get hugs, but it's not the same, really.
Everyone I know is either aro/ace or not ace at all and I feel so alone all the time. I can't try a dating app; while I'm an adult, my parents would never, ever accept any partner i found 'online.' They don't even think people can have online friends. Should I like fling fliers around my campus? (No don't do that.)
It's a big problem, and I hope you have better luck than me. I'm sending hugs and good wishes. <3
EDIT: Actually one of my friends has an ace/non aro datemate so I do know one RL person like me. They're really nice.
@
keet I'm an Ace person, who has been married to another Ace person for 6 years now. The best advice I have is communication. A lot of people say it, but it's SO Important.
Before we even started dating we sat down and had about an hour long talk, where we laid everything on the table. She brought up being ace first (i didn't fully know i was yet) and we talked about exactly what we wanted and were looking for. It was better for us to have that difficult, honest, open talk. Then to get into the relationship and have it fall apart later.
That may not be the best for everyone. You may not need to get into EVERY detail, but honesty upfront. "hey, I'm ace and you need to know and accept that before anything else" will help with a lot of heartbreak.
@
keet I'm an Ace person, who has been married to another Ace person for 6 years now. The best advice I have is communication. A lot of people say it, but it's SO Important.
Before we even started dating we sat down and had about an hour long talk, where we laid everything on the table. She brought up being ace first (i didn't fully know i was yet) and we talked about exactly what we wanted and were looking for. It was better for us to have that difficult, honest, open talk. Then to get into the relationship and have it fall apart later.
That may not be the best for everyone. You may not need to get into EVERY detail, but honesty upfront. "hey, I'm ace and you need to know and accept that before anything else" will help with a lot of heartbreak.
Im panromantic but lesexual.
Although intimacy would be loved with another woman, i think i could be in a relationship with a woman without it. So long as kissing and cuddling happened. So theres people out there who would accept it
Im panromantic but lesexual.
Although intimacy would be loved with another woman, i think i could be in a relationship with a woman without it. So long as kissing and cuddling happened. So theres people out there who would accept it
Blue // they/he 
