General Discussion

So I need to get out of wearing just t-shirts and jeans but everyone I go to for advice is pushing me towards more typically feminine clothes which I've never in my life felt at all comfortable in (last year I had to wear a skirt for a function and it was miserable, I felt so uncomfortable and wrong). I swear this isn't just me hating formal wear bc suits feel great, but that's not really considered socially acceptable or attractive and definitely not professional in any of the fields I'll probably wind up working in.

You guys have any tips? I know "do whatever makes you comfortable" but that's not always 100% feasible. Plus I really do want to feel good about how I look and idk, get compliments once in a while, I just dunno how to go about it.

@Demagogue not to claim i'm "good with fashion" as far as what's trendy but I'm gender fluid(so i get that presentation can be weird) and have studied design a bit haha. I've found that everything helps when you can specifically identify what makes you feel best, even as far as little things like if you have a favorite ring or don't like stripes, so you can figure out ways to incorporate what you like and cut out what you don't. If you want to avoid femininity, then I'd just start taking inspo from masculine outfits. Know any male celebrities that you look up to or like? See if there's any patterns in what they wear that you might like to try out for yourself. That doesn't mean you have to outright copy them and switch all over to mens clothing, but if you make an outfit and you know how you want it to look, you can alter the little things. You cannottt go wrong with getting more button ups. They're a little basic, but they can present however you want, and you can get looser ones if you feel the need to cover anything in the chest area. One shirt can be used in several looks, and you can throw one on over a favorite tshirt to dress yourself up a bit and feel handsome but casual. The options for experimenting are almost endless as well. Roll up the sleeves to different levels, button up to different buttons, try only buttoning the very first collar button, stuff like that. Forget literally all of that about suits not being considered socially acceptable nor attractive. There is nothing hotter than someone in a suit, no matter their gender or presentation. If there is an event that men are allowed to wear suits/tuxes to, then it is perfectly acceptable for you to do so as well. [img]https://images.vice.com/vice/images/content-images/2015/01/16/from-butch-to-trans-finding-fashion-for-a-spectrum-of-bodies-111-body-image-1421431497.jpg[/img] [img]https://i.pinimg.com/236x/93/34/48/933448fb58b209c2ffc0798465c0ad23--butch-fashion-vest-and-tie.jpg[/img] [img]https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/1089/3630/products/product-image-377977024.jpg[/img] [img]https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/1158/7106/products/DSC00290_pp-Edit-Edit_-_Copy-_ZF-10592-74930-1-004_270x410_crop_center.jpg[/img] There are suits and masculine clothing available to *everyone* at every level of professionalism. The level of femininity or masculinity is not what matters, what matters are things like: Are your clothes fitted to you well? You would have to get a skirt suit or dress fitted to you just as much as a regular suit Are you happy in what youre in? Being happy in your clothes *really* makes a difference in how people see you. When you enjoy how you look and want people to see you, people can pick up on that energy. It makes people more likely to compliment you as well. Are you wearing the proper level of formal clothing for the event you're at? etc. no one will question your femininity or lack thereof if you are well put together in other aspects. I always have a lot to say on clothing and such, so if you ever need tips or have questions that you need a little more than google for, feel free to message me :D

T-shirts and jeans are nice though, why change if you're comfortable with it?
The T-shirts just needs to be a little more interesting than plain white or black imo

@Demagogue

A good (patterned, but do what you want) button down'll do wonders— even just throwing one over a t-shirt feels like putting An Effort into your appearance. Short-sleeve is fine and casual (and technically formal cause if you throw a jacket over it No One Can Tell) and long sleeve is good and multipurpose. (Also get you some of theeeese. My absolute favorite accessory [ I'm actually wearing one right now! silver antlers specifically, but i have 2 other ones and i am waitin' on the bronze bee to be available at the same time i'm actually in the states]).

And honestly, jeans are pretty good; like, no need to dress them up. As long as they're good jeans. All you really need is a pair of dark blue ones and a pair of black ones and i guess something else if you really want i dunno, that generally gets me through they day (and the day after that and the day after that and the day after that)

as i alluded to earlier, layering is super good and fun— put a button down over a t-shirt, put a vest or a jacket over a button-down, y'know. and regarding your suit point— not really? I mean, "attractive" is subjective and at the end of the day who cares as long as You like how you look, but wearing a suit that fits you right and that you wear with confidence, no matter the gender, can absolutely look professional. I mean, shoot, you can just get a decent blazer and that'll do ya pretty good. I got one from H&M the other month fer $70 and while the fit could be better (i am very small) it's pretty dang good!

lmk if you want more specific advice— I'm not too good at sweeping fashion advice but i'm pretty good at individualized stuff, and as a trans man i've gotten very good at finding ways to wear non-feminine clothes with a body that non-feminine clothes were not made for

@Demagogue so uh as one of the ~youths~ this is just kinda?? what I do?? I am defo not the authority on fashion but this is just stuff I feel is pretty simple and easy to do. take what you like, leave what you don't :) There's lots of ways to be dressed casually and still look like you put in effort - without looking overly feminine! Firstly - basics!!! Solid coloured turtlenecks, sweaters, button-downs, t-shirts, pants, jackets, etc. are the building blocks to any wardrobe. As dope as video game or band t-shirts are (and, actually, how on trend they are for casual streetwear), they're not super conducive to a clean, somewhat-professional look. If you have solid coloured pieces and lightly patterned (stripes, ribbed, plaid, etc.) ones you can basically throw anything on with a couple of accessories and be matchy-matchy good-to-go. T-shirts and jeans are totally fine, imo, especially if you're going into a field that doesn't require formal attire (did I read that correctly?). If you do stick with that, accessorize! You don't have to wear girly necklaces or whatever, but some cool rings, hats, or a bag will definitely make you look like you tried a little harder. Simple things like tucking your t-shirt into your jeans, [b]wearing a belt[/b], and wearing some nice, clean shoes (even sneakers!) will make your outfit look 800x better. Also - making sure your hair is clean and neat (doesn't have to be styled or anything, just washed and healthy), your skin is moisturized, and you're getting enough sleep, will all contribute to a better image of you. Loose jeans, tight jeans - they all have a place. Looser boyfriend jeans are so so cute, and if you tuck a button down or blouse into them - they can actually look pretty put-together. Tight jeans look very clean as well, especially if they're a little higher-waisted and they cover everything - they look closer to pants than your favourite pair of 2-year-old levi's. Think something like this as a basic outfit: [img]http://picture-cdn.wheretoget.it/zceu5a-l-610x610-jeans-kendall+jenner-streetstyle-model+duty-kardashians-turtleneck+sweater-sweater-fall+outfits.jpg[/img] If your job doesn't require anything more formal than that, I don't think you'd need to dress it up at all! It's definitely suitable for a non-traditional dresscode. I also really like watching allegra shaw on youtube - she's got really cool lookbooks for all the different seasons. She does wear skirts on occasion, but mostly she's got a pretty androgynous vibe - check her out! Okay yeah anyway wow you don't need to listen to any of this! but it's just what I do to remain semi-presentable while not putting in too much effort every morning.

I get you. I'm kinda in the same boat myself.

I think everyone has posted great advice and mine goes along with it. Just focus on the basics. Like a basic white tee, basic button down, nice jeans. Basics are also very gender neutral. If you are looking for a more professional look, then look for solids and streamlined patterns. Nothing too busy or loud. The key is that everything should be well fitted. And I don't even mean just how loose or tight the clothes are. It's also about where the clothes hit your body. Where they fall and what parts of your body they emphasize. Once you get your basics down, that's when I think that you can start to add more individualized pieces.

I would suggest looking at pinterest for inspo. The femalefashionadvice subreddit also has great inspo boards and advice. You can type in keywords like masculine and get some results.

@Demagogue wow... everyone is throwing a lot of theory on how clothes look and i just... i just came to say that you should try formal shirts or blouses hahah

Also maybe what bothers you about skirts is the lenght or the style? Maybe there's one specific cut that you havent tried yet and makes you feel comfortable *shrugs* you can always wear a boxer or short under it!
But if skirts are simply not your thing dont feel bad, there's a lot of fancy pants and stuff that you can use.