Items For Sale

[size=5][color=red][b]{NOTICE OF TEMPORARY CLOSURE}[/b][/color][/size] Until such time as I can catch up with outstanding requests, I shall no longer be accepting donations or further requests. My apologies to all. ----- Have you been spending your time in the Coliseum, levelling up exalts, or trying to catch a Yeti? You get to the end of the battle, and wait desperately to see the Phat Lootz. "[i]Maybe this time,[/i]" you think. But NOOOOOOOO. The RNG gods have decreed that you need another use impaired Podid! Or another smelly Baku! Do you seem to only find that same familiar over and over again? (and AGAIN!) Well, I'm here for you. Let me take your non-Yetis and plague-proportioned Leafy Moths out of your hoard. Say to me: "[i]Please, just take it.[/i] And I will reply: "[i]I will.[/i]" They will be cared for, and not hoard sold. They will be brushed and fed, and whilst not loved, they will be able to exist in smelly peace. Welcome to .... [img]https://5e897db9cd99f19fd5c6cd762080f027a56c1de3.googledrive.com/host/0B4gwINesyZ1rRGgzN2tGMHJfOWM/Shameul_Title.jpg[/img] ----- And for good measure, here are some banners for your sig, if you so choose: The big one: [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?p=mb&board=ibaz&id=1172531&page=1][img]https://5e897db9cd99f19fd5c6cd762080f027a56c1de3.googledrive.com/host/0B4gwINesyZ1rRGgzN2tGMHJfOWM/Shameful_Available.jpg[/img][/url] [code][url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?p=mb&board=ibaz&id=1172531&page=1][img]https://5e897db9cd99f19fd5c6cd762080f027a56c1de3.googledrive.com/host/0B4gwINesyZ1rRGgzN2tGMHJfOWM/Shameful_Available.jpg[/img][/url][/code] and the little one: [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?p=mb&board=ibaz&id=1172531&page=1][img]https://5e897db9cd99f19fd5c6cd762080f027a56c1de3.googledrive.com/host/0B4gwINesyZ1rRGgzN2tGMHJfOWM/Shameful.png[/img][/url] [code][url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?p=mb&board=ibaz&id=1172531&page=1][img]https://5e897db9cd99f19fd5c6cd762080f027a56c1de3.googledrive.com/host/0B4gwINesyZ1rRGgzN2tGMHJfOWM/Shameful.png[/img][/url][/code]

[center][img]https://5e897db9cd99f19fd5c6cd762080f027a56c1de3.googledrive.com/host/0B4gwINesyZ1rRGgzN2tGMHJfOWM/Shameful_Available.jpg[/img][/center] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/32571/3257067_350.png[/img] A rather well protected Wildclaw introduces herself as [b]Greln[/b], and says "[i]These are our currently donated (and available) [/i]Shameful Familiars[i]. Hopefully you'll find one that you'll like enough to take home.[/i] She turns and begins the tour of the facilities. "[i]Please excuse the current state of the area. We are in the process of renovating large sections of the various enclosures. Rest assured though that the Familiars are well cared for, regardless of any temporary disruptions.[/i]" You approach a very large glassed roof dome, with all manner of creatures flying about inside it. A big sign above the air lock reads: [b]THE AVIARY[/b]. [quote=THE AVIARY]"[i]This dome houses a wide variety of winged creatures,[/i]" Greln continues, as the flap of wings overhead can be heard clearly. [list=1][*][item=Wildwood Owl] [item=Wildwood Owl] [item=Wildwood Owl] [item=Wildwood Owl] - "[i]...And a LOT of owls.[/i]" she sighs. And then blinks. "[i]There were a lot more of them I thought,[/i]" she shrugs before moving on. [*][item=Leafy Moth] [item=Leafy Moth] [item=Leafy Moth] [item=Leafy Moth] [item=Leafy Moth] [item=Amaranth Moth] [item=Luna Mith] - Jack O' Lanterns do more than scare the Hatchlings. They entice the unwary and the delicious to stick around for when the Hatchlings get their nerve back. [*][item=Strangler] [item=Blooming Strangler] [item=Crimson Emperor] [img]http://flightrising.com/images/cms/familiar/1144.png[/img] - Gesturing with one wing, she points toward some large plant eaters. "[i]We're not sure if the Arcanist has anything to do with the massive size of these simple herbivores, but we care for them regardless.[/i]" [*][item=Dodo] [item=Cursed Bat] - "[i]These ones keep the insect population down at least[/i], she continues. [*][item=Emerald Webwing] [item=Storm Seeker] [item=Ruby Webwing] - Lastly, you can see some birds around the area as Greln comments with a sigh, "[i]At least these ones aren't more owls.[/i]" [/quote] Leaving the Aviary behind, Greln escorts you towards another large building, where splashing noises can be heard dimly. The sign above the entrance reads: [b]AQUARIUM[/B]. [QUOTE=AQUARIUM] [list=1][*][item=Bluefin Charger] [item=Bluefin Charger] [item=Bluefin Charger] - For the crime of sticking a cold nose into places it oughtn't be, under the blankets whilst someone was trying to sleep, you have all been banished from your lairs. [*][item=Noggle] [item=Noggle] [item=Noggle] [item=Noggle] - Time to take these fishy freaks to SCHOOL. Stop trying to follow my friends home, or it's sushi time for my Coatls. [*][item=Sunset Lasher] [item=Sunset Lasher] [item=Everglade Lasher] - I think it might be time to SCALE back our fish operations. [*][Item=Greatshell] [Item=Greatshell] - Stop fighting over who is going to be Michaelangelo! Donatello was the coolest anyway. [*][item=Jeweled Octoflyer] [item=Jeweled Octoflyer] - "Touchy feely" gets a whole new meaning around these arthropods. [*][item=Kelp Tender] [item=Mammertee] - Who are accompanied by their bodyguards, of course. [*][item=Abyss Striker] [item=Abyss Striker] [item=Relic Eel] [item=Relic Eel] - Slimy fishes and eels make fantastic Tricks if you drop them down the back of an unsuspecting victim. [/QUOTE] Heading out of the noisy Aquarium, Greln points towards a squat, slab-sided building over the way. Most noticeably, the windows had bars, and the open areas adjacent to the building were enclosed by a chain link fence topped with pointed, barbed wire. Stencilled across the front of the building in large, blocky letters were the words: [b]CENTRAL HOLDING[/b]. [quote=CENTRAL HOLDING] "[i]These ones have been exposed as potential threats to Dragon-kind[/i]", Greln comments somewhat sadly. "[i]It is our hope that love and kindness will help these ones find peace amongst our clans at least[/i]." You can see that the Serthis are playing volleyball, and the Longnecks are enjoying chess and chequers. [list=1][*][item=Opheodrys Serthis] [item=Opheodrys Serthis] - Can I just go and get some ASP-irin for that headache you're causing me? [*][item=Carmine Serthis] [item=Carmine Serthis] [item=Carmine Serthis] [item=Carmine Serthis] - Another sneaky snake-lady circle surreptitiously snooping for snacks. Or spying for the Beastclans. Not good news either way. [*][item=Longneck Interloper] [item=Longneck Interloper] [item=Longneck Skirmisher] - Stop plotting the end of the world. No Alpacalypse for you! [*][item=Longneck Magi] [item=Longneck Magi] [item=Longneck Mender] - These ones were caught sticking their necks out into places where they don't belong. [/list][/QUOTE] [QUOTE=REPTILE DISFUNCTIONS] [list=1] [*][item=Basilisk] - Don't look at me like that. [*][item=Southmarsh Podid] [item=Southmarsh Podid] - Brute squads, check. [*][item=Common Podid] [item=Common Podid] [*][item=Venomous Toridae] [item=Venomous Toridae] [*][item=Poisonous Toridae] [item=Poisonous Toridae] [item=Poisonous Toridae] [item=Poisonous Toridae] [item=Poisonous Toridae] - A bouquet of flowers?! For me? How nice! WAIT-A-MINUTE. These aren't flowers! GET BACK HERE!!! [/list][/QUOTE] [QUOTE=TOTALLY NOT A PETTING ZOO] [list=1] [*][item=Baku] [item=Baku] - What do you call fanged monsters eating the prized roses in a Guardian's garden? DINNER. [*][item=Mistwatch Shellion] [item=Shellion] - When older hatchlings discover the joys of static, these poor beasties spend hours stuck to the roofs of caves and passageways and toilet stalls, where they randomly drop on unsuspecting victims. [*][item=Ember Mouse] [item=Ember Mouse] [item=Ember Mouse] - The worst part of having one of these is when it decides to dig under the latrines whilst they are occupied. KA-BOOM! [*][item=Glowing Pocket Mouse] [item=Glowing Pocket Mouse] - Have you tried to play golf with one of these at night? Or Tennis? So much fun! [*][item=Radioactive Slime] [item=Radioactive Slime] [item=Radioactive Slime] [item=Radioactive Slime] [item=Radioactive Slime] [item=River Muck] - People always want to know the difference between a River Muck and a Radioactive Slime. I always tell them: about 3 months under the rim of a toilet. [*][item=Psywurm] [item=Psywurm] - Some more "psychics" have been exposed as frauds, but I bet you knew I was going to say that. [*][item=Silver Springbok] [item=Celestial Antelope] - You are not mechanical, and do not require a key to be wound up. [*][item=Rambra] [item=Rambra] [item=Zeeba] [item=Zeeba] [item=Zeeba] [item=Zeeba] - These ones like big butts, and they cannot lie. It's just that they're headbutts. Zshmuck. [*][item=elk] [item=elk] [item=elk] - I HERD you guys coming from a mile away. Stealthy you ain't. [*][item=Maned Rasa] - Another inmate for the [s]Petting Zoo[/s] holding area. Once it has been detangled, dewormed, defleaed, detailed, deomgthatsalotofwork. [*][item=Hoarfrost Mauler] - Is that egg on your face dude, or did you just sneeze all over yourself? [*][item=Warcat protector] - Who knows what is left of its brains under that helmet? Do you dare to have a look? Braaaains.... *Sniff* Not likely. [/list][/QUOTE] [quote=The Yet To Be Put In Their Place But Are Still Available] [/quote]

[center][size=5][b][u]Rehabilitation Success Stories![/u][/b][/size][/center] [img]https://5e897db9cd99f19fd5c6cd762080f027a56c1de3.googledrive.com/host/0B4gwINesyZ1rRGgzN2tGMHJfOWM/Shameful_Shipped.jpg[/img] [size=4][b]These positively shameless Familiars have batted their eyelids or looked pathetic enough to be adopted, and are no longer available![/b][/size] [list=1][*][item=Hainu] - Whilst you are NOT a shoulder parrot, and are in fact a fat butt wolf, someone out there loves you. [*][item=Shellion] - Just... What are you? Well, whatever you are, you now have a new home. [*][Item=Salve Kamaitachi] - Stop digging in the garbage for fish heads, stinky, someone has REAL food for you. [*][Item=Salve Kamaitachi] - Scratching the furniture isn't going to get me to let you outside, so quit it. Someone else has a scratching post for you. [*][item=Storm Seeker] - Stop looking at me like that. You aren't welcome anymore. Someone else will be taking care of you now. [*][item=Poisonous Toridae] - Yes, your flower is pretty. No, I don't want you to show me, AGAIN. Go and show it to your new owner. [*][item=Maned Rasa] - Hairy, check. Yeti, NOPE! Adorable face, adopted anyway. [*][item=Stonewatch Harpy] - You could have at least watched grass grow. Oh, you were looking for bugs? Well, someone else needs their pests controlled so off you go. [*][item=Silver Springbok] - Oh Deer. Your time of Judgement is at hand. Stop being such a butt head. No? Yes? You will stop? Thankyou! Now get your shiny metal back side off my porch on onto your next home on the range. [*][item=Dreameater] - You are NOT a cool wolf or fox. Stop it. You are a ... um ... a ... Hey! Look over there! Someone wants to talk to you. Bye! [*][item=Longneck Magi] - You couldn't keep a beat if you tried. Fortunately for you, we have Autotune now, so off to stardom you go. Or a voice over gig for train stations, whatever. [*][Item=Salve Kamaitachi] - This gassy, bloated, windy kitty can go stink up anothers Hoard. [*][item=Noggle] - A face and personality that only a mother could love, but we won't talk about the hideous stench. Industrial strength deodoriser has been sent as well. [*][Item=Salve Kamaitachi] - A music producer just rang with a cease and desist order for copying their tween starlet. Fortunately for you the SFA relocation program will move you beyond their jurisdiction. [*][item=Blackwing Croaker] - Quote the donor: "Stupid frog" Quote to adopter: "My stupid frog now". [*][item=Baku] - This little pig monster went to market... And was so ugly that no one wanted to buy him. Fortunately for all, somone took it in so that no one else could see its unfortunate visage. [*][item=Venomous Toridae] [item=Poisonous Toridae] - Stop looking at each other. Nobody wants more of you. Now off you go to your new home together. [*][item=Shellion] - Straight to the flea wash for you, and then a comb and trim before you are sent into [s]exile[/s] another lair. [*][item=Southmarsh Podid] - Eww! When was the last time you had a wash? Right the heck now. You're going into the wash straight after the Shellion. [*][item=Common Podid] - Stop licking yourself. NO! Don't lick me instead! Ugh. Go and lick your new owner. [*][item=Magma Embear] - I really didn't want to know about flaming Embears and what the do in the woods, I really didn't. >_< [*][item=Common Podid] - Why you no be Scythe Kamaitachi? Why did you have to be fluffy tummied snuggle monstie? Off you go. -Sniff- [*][item=Elk] - I no u is herd animal, but I am not ur shepard! Ooooh, look over there. That person has some delicious carrots and frozen moss, your favourite! [*][item=Venomous Toridae] - Take a hint, you aren't welcome. Too subtle for you? Well ok then. You are welcome... OVER THERE! Sheesh. [*][item=Baku] [item=Fungalhoof Qiriq] - Oh look! It's another mutant-pig-monster-thing. Hey friend, just follow the Qiriq and eat the mushrooms it spawns as it wanders over to your new owner, ok? Good. [*][item=Scythe Kamaitachi] - Cork board 1 - Stabby Kitty 0. Stabby Kitty will now be relegated to an off-site lair where he can roll around in fish heads to his hearts content. [*][item=Fungalhoof Qiriq] - Hide and seek is only fun if BOTH of you know that you are playing. Now go and play hide and seek with the Shadowmomma if you dare. [*][item=Hippogriff] - Quit hovering over my head as I try and eat my fish and chips. Danged scavengers. Ok, I'll give you some if you go and bother someone else. [*][Item=Wildwood owl] - No wonder your last owner is happy to see you go. Even Dracula didn't bite as much as you. Time for you to nibble on someone else. [*][item=Peacock Firebird] - No, I don't want to hear your life story. I don't care if it is a beautiful [s]TAIL[/s] tale! Oooh look, a mirror! All the way over there. [*][item=Cursed Bat] - I'm sure that someone else would like to have you visit, if only you wouldn't just hang about in my lair. Maybe new surroundings will perk you up a bit. [*][item=Mistwatch Shellion] - I'm splitting you up from your buddy. There's only so much "[i]Bench Press Off[/i]"s and "[i]Buff Off[/i]"s and "[i]Rippling Ab Off[/i]"s I can put up with. I mean, no one can see your abs inside your shell anyway, dolt. Away with you now. [*][item=Charcoal Sprangyroo] - I heard you say "[i]Watch this, mate![/i]", and I can watch you well enough from over here. As long as you are OVER THERE. [*][item=Salve Kamaitachi] [item=Scythe Kamaitachi] [item=Sickle Kamaitachi] - Hopefully they won't make a scene. Or try to rip out your spleen. Just pet them a lot, And make them purr and preen. [*][item=Emerald Cave Jewel] - Exploding Cigars are not cool dude. Now for my trick. Watch you DISAPPEAR!!! Amazing. [*][item=Noggle] - Rude, Ridgeback-taunting, insufferable know-it-all fishes had better watch out for water loving Coatls. Now try and SCALE back your attitude for your next owner, ok? Good. [*][item=Blackwing Croaker] [item=Heartred Croaker] - These two have been climbing the walls trying to come up with escape plans. Literally. It was a tad ridiculous actually. [*][item=Shale Thresher] - A Shark with a lisp! Shorry if thish sheems a bit harsh, but shurely you can shtop peshtering others for treats? If you are FINished, I can send you to an new owner and stop with the fishy puns. [*][item=Amaranth Moth] - Stop dive bombing the TV! You are blocking the view. And stop humming "[i]Ride of the Valkyries[/i]", your new home is ready. [*][item=Sprangyroo] - Smart mouthed Sprangyroos. At least, I think they are being rude. Who can tell with that accent? Sending you to someone with an interpreter. [*][item=Kelp Tender] - How do you fit 5 Kelp Tenders in a car? Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment of course. Which leaves the sixth one for me to deal with by sending it to its new home in a taxi. [*][img]http://flightrising.com/images/cms/familiar/1144.png[/img] - You are the worst. I can't even display a proper icon for you. Grrrr. [*][item=Sunset Lasher] - You can't fool me. You're just a Noggle that has been sunbaking. Now, where did I put my Tartare sauce? *[i]Watches Lasher swim away quietly to new home[/i]* [*][item=Death Seeker] - Renowned for their appearance at disasters, have you [i]seen[/i] their taste in fashion?! At least this one can go and darken someone else's lair now. [*][item=Dark-Tufted Sparrowmouse] - Grrr. I was just about to dig up those radishes myself, but now you've gone and eaten them all. As punishment, I'm sending you off to catch bugs for someone else's Spirals. [*][item=Maned Rasa] - Stop it! You're getting too big to play "[i]Watch me jump off the sofa into the pile of plushies[/i]". Now if you can just stay still for 5 seconds, your new home is waiting for you. [*][item=Baku] - This little pig monster stayed home... But was caught dialling 1-900 numbers, so now has to work on a community service gardening program. [*][item=Noggle] - Hold still while i wrap you in newspaper to send to a friend. [*][item=Maren Ambusher] [item=Maren Ambusher] [item=Maren Ambusher] [item=Maren Warrior] - No amount of auto-tuning is going to help you four get a Grammy. Better to split you up faster than I can say "[i]ill considered solo career[/i]". Sorry that all I could find for you four was work as a gorilla gram. [*][item=Mistwatch Shellion] [item=Shellion] [item=Longneck Magi] [item=Everglade Lasher] [item=Greater Sandstrike] - All of you are in need of a good wash, combing, trimming, nail clipping, waxing, polishing, and deodorising. Now that's done, off you go. [*][item=Maren Wavesinger] - I guess singing in TUNE is really not your forte. Fortunately for you, my forte is not to REST whilst finding you a new home. Fin. [*][item=Brilliant Psywurm] [item=Everglade Lasher] - Sent onwards to the heart of The Viridian Labyrinth, they were seen no more. Hopefully. [*][item=Swallowtail Buttersnake] and [item=Blue Tang Hippogriff] - For a desert dwelling aviataur, you sure sound like a surfer dude when you talk. Unfortunately. [*][item=Double-tailed Warcat] - You can't see anything with that helmet over your eyes, so why else would you follow a Dragon home. Go and smell the fish in someone else's hoard. [*][item=Venomous Toridae] [item=Poisonous Toridae] - These lookouts were nabbed sleeping on the job. Apparently no one told the two geniuses that these Toridae are diurnal when they arranged to pull the job at night. Easy to ship to a new home like that though. [*][item=Common Podid] [Item=Southmarsh Podid] - The distraction pair, obviously. The blue one drops mustard in its fur and loudly complains whilst the green one makes a scene about the blue one making a scene. Classic. Wait! What's that over there? *[i]Boot[/i]* [*][item=Psywurm] - And here we have the "brains" of the operation. Well, they would be if their bickering hadn't got them caught in the middle of the job, separated, then sent to different homes. [*][item=Jeweled Octoflyer] [item=Octoflyer] - Someone's having calamari tonight!

@Cytation - Thankyou for your donations. You can now go to your lair page and positively BASK in its non-shameful-ness.

I am also happy to take Anonymous donations to take your shameful Familiars from your hoard, so that you may absolve your guilt of giving up a little fluffy monster that you can't bear the sight of anymore without anyone else being the wiser.

@reliquiaen - Alas, familiars know no shame.

All they see are big hungry Dragons terrorising their lands, and in an effort to stop them, throw their most pathetic, most shameful denizens at them, to live with them, and try to get them to stop out of mortification and embarrassment.

"Cool! Another Familiar. Wait, it's just another Death's Head Stag. Sigh. Oh well."

Well, NO MORE!

Dragons must be allowed to hunt for Phat Lootz without the shackles of ignominy dogging their path.

Thankyou for the bumps. I have just received two more clingy pets from someone, who was extremely relieved to see the back of them: [item=Elk] - I no u is herd animal, but I am not ur shepard! [item=Blackwing Croaker] - Quote the donor: "Stupid frog"

Oh how amusing this will be