Darko

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Uh-oh, looks like this hurting coatl wandered a little too far from his lair (EccentricElf23 170131), and now he's off to see the world! If ever you feel the urge to exalt, he'd really appreciate it if you could just return him home instead, or to the 'Dragons Off To See The World' thread, here.

Please Don't exalt or sell. I am willing to pay for Darko's return!

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Inventory

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EccentricElf23
Trapped. That is how Darko felt. Not trapped in his Clan of Water dragons. They'd all been so very good to him, taking him in when he'd been abandoned as a hatchling. Not trapped in his profession as one of the Clan librarians. But trapped in his body. Darko had been born female but identified strongly as a male dragon. He'd used male pronouns for quite a while now, and the entire Clan, with a few exceptions, respected his pronouns. He lived his life as well as he could, but still he felt trapped. Trapped inside of himself. His own body was a prison from which there was no escape. He avoided mirrors, as even glimpse of his feminine figure reminded him that he was stuck in a body he hated. He wore the most masculine clothing he could afford, and rarely spoke, as his voice was decidedly stuck in a obviously feminine pitch. Even with all that he did to make himself comfortable within his own body, there were still days, very very painful days, when he felt like a prisoner within himself, a victim of a random dice throw that decided what sex he would be born as.

He started taking his pain out on himself, leaving scars all over his body. He knew he was ugly, that he was a monster for what he did to himself at night, when he was alone, in the dark. But it didn't matter. The longer that Darko was alone, the more trapped he became. Soon, he knew that there was no hope left for him, that this world was nothing but pain, and that he would be better off dead than to suffer through the torture others called life. But still, he couldn't bring himself to end his own life. There was his dear friend, a tundra named Ged who would be deeply hurt by the loss of his best friend, Darko. But soon, even that reason to stay was eclipsed by Darko's suffering.

One night, Darko lay curled up in his nest, shaking with suppressed sobs. The weight of his pain, the pain of being trapped his body, suddenly became too much. He knew, in that terrible moment, that it was time to stop fighting. He'd often thought of how he would do it when the time came. He slowly got up from his nest, as so not to wake Ged, who was sleeping nearby. He glanced at his friend, or what he knew would be the last time. Suddenly, unexpectedly, tears sprang into Darko's eyes. What would Ged think happened to him? Who would find his body? He prayed it wasn't a hatchling. Why was he going to do this? It didn't make sense, but yet, it was his only option. The sadness and hopelessness overwhelmed him. And he broke down crying. He crawled over to his friend and shook him awake.

"Ged," he whispered "Ged, please wake up. Please. I need you."
Ged blinked the sleep from his eyes. He was slightly dazed and confused, but quickly became alert when he realized that Darko was crying. Ged moved over and made room for Darko in his nest. Darko curled up in a tiny ball next to Ged, still crying.

"Darko," Ged whispered, "What's wrong?"

And there, through his tears, Darko told Ged of his pain, and what he had considered doing. When Darko was finished, Ged hugged his friend close. "I love you, Darko," Ged said "You're irreplaceable to me, so very very precious. Don't leave me. Please. Don't leave. Promise me you won't go. Promise me you'll keep on living, keep on breathing. That's all you have to do. Just keep breathing."

The promise stuck in Darko's throat. Could he really promise that? Could he really promise to keep on living, through all the pain that his life was? It didn't seem possible, and yet, Darko couldn't bear to break Ged's heart.

"I promise, Ged." Darko said.

He promised more for Ged, and less for himself. But, that night marked a turning point for Darko. He had a shred of hope now, and even in the darkest of times, even in he lowest moments, he remembered his promise to Ged. Having hope was so very painful. But Darko clung to it. It took years for Darko to fully recover from his depression. Even after he got professional help, there were still bad days. Nothing would ever be perfect. But it could be tolerable. And all he had to do was keep breathing. Even when everything seemed impossible, even when life seemed to crash around him, all he had to do, was keep breathing.

Now, Darko is off to see the world. He has found a bit of hope to cling to, and now, he wants to share it with others. He isn't sure what that is going to look like just yet, or how he is going to do it, but that isn't going to stop him from trying.


Juri01
Darko still wasn't quite sure what led him in that particular direction, but he stumbled along the Windswept Plateau, clutching the the silver-looking vest that Ged gave him as he left.
He feltbetter, wanting to see more of the world. Keep breathing! There is so much more to see!
So Darko was flying around, just feeling the wind under her wings, as he encountered some dragons near the Reedcleft Ascent. Quickly the traveler was surrounded by them, riding the wind currents together. At first the Coatls was not sure what to think about them, he once again began to feel unsure: What if they are going to judge him? What were they thinking about him?
Surprisingly, they seemed to be a bunch of very easy going dragons and little by little Darko started to enjoy the game as well.

Before noticing, the sky had darkened and a rather cold breeze stirred the air. The Coatl was unsure where to find a place to spend the night as it was his first time being around this parts of the world. Poring over a solution he suddenly was approached by an intelligent looking Imperial who introduced himself as ‘Mythos’. He offered him a nice traveler's nest to escape the night and the cold. ...and Darko gladly accepted and followed the friendly clan home. Still feeling a bit restless.

It was a warm and friendly morning when everyone gattered for breakfast. The wind dragons were already used to traveler, but for some of them Darkos use of male pronouns to refair to himself was something entirely new. They too felt a bit unsure about how to encounter their new guest.
Voriksha, the librarian, had no such worries. At first she didn't even seem to notice Darkos use of male pronouns as she started chatting with him about: Books.
The nonstop talking about new purchases and findings added to her collection calmed everyone down, giving them the time to get used to the new situation. The Spiral was a typical bookworm that loves stories and literature.
After, the two of them started to spend a lot of time together. Darko even helped out in the library, enjoing the company of someone so totally accept who he was. Maybe he even started feeling something more then friendship for the shy, intelligent Spiral.

One day, as they were spending some time in one of the librarys reading holes, Darko started telling Voriksha about his past, his feelings and insecurity he had about himself, his friend Ged and all he has been through.
Voriksha simply listened. She did not know what how things had been for her friend back then and also did not know the best way to confort him.
And so she simply listened to him, accepting his story and keeping him company.
"Thank you for telling me"
- was the first thing she said, looking him straight in the eye, a gentile smile on her lips.
"Thank you very much."

Darko became very close friends with Vori during his stay, stitting over books in the library or spending time at the gathering-point. He also listened to stories told by an Imperial, watched a dance performed by a nice Skydancer and also got to know some other traveler dragons that were currently staying over at the wind-clan.
He was able to met a lot of different dragons and characters, with all kind of different stories to tell.
Rich in new tales, stories and acquaintances Darko one day felt it was time to set off again. He said everyone his thanks and farewells and gave his very good friend Voriksha a big hug, before setting off to see world again.

"You know Darko! ...
On your back, there are a pair of beautiful wings. Fly wherever you want to go!
Don't be someone looking for happiness, become a person who makes his own happiness.
My dear friend, keep breathing and live with pride!
You are wounderful, just the way you are!"

After giving Vori one more hug, Darko set off.
He'd miss them, but he decided to keep moving forward, to keep breathing in this world.

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Next Users: Please, add something to Darko's story! I'm excited to see where it goes!

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And, if you're in a place where you've lost hope, like Darko did, like I have in my past, just remember to keep breathing. That is all you have to do. You're valuable , you're precious, you're irreplaceable. I'm willing to talk about my experiences with the issues in Darko's story. Just remember, keep breathing. And, if you're crisis, don't be afraid to reach out for help. In the United States call 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or 1-800-273-TALK(1-800-273-8255) or 911. For an international hotline, follow this LINK and choose your country. Just keep breathing, my friend. I know you can do this.