“Come on, it’ll be fun.” Ryan nudged Tora in her ribcage.
She crossed her arms over her chest and stared warily out at the river. “I don’t think that’s a very good idea…” She said anxiously. “The water’s cold and my asthma… I forgot my inhaler...”
She was always so anxious. That was one thing about his friend that Ryan could barely stand. With him, it was always leap first, ask questions later. Life was supposed to be fun! Tora was too nervous to have fun… In Ryan’s opinion, she should have gotten out of her comfort zone more often to do things like, say, jumping out of a tire swing on a ledge and into a river for instance!
“It’ll be fun.” Ryan nudged her again. “Watch, I’ll do it, then you can follow me.”
Tora wrinkled her nose. She’d always had a button nose, probably because of her biological father’s japanese nationality, and it would almost be cute if the rest of her wasn’t so scrappy looking. “You already convinced me to come to this party in the first place. Plus, you convinced me to get into the water. What more do you want from me?” She snorted, tucking a dripping, tangled, overgrown strand of dark russet hair behind her ear.
“I want you to jump.” Ryan grinned, but he wasn’t going to keep badgering her if she truly didn’t want to.
She curled her toes against the water lapping at her feet, face uncertain and wary.
Ryan splashed her with cold droplets from the river, causing her to shriek and jump to her feet, scrambling to the pebbly shore. Ryan laughed at her and followed her.
It wasn’t the best day for a party at the river: they sky was blanketed in a soft grey above, with darker angrier clouds on their way, promising rain. The water was cold and sharp and choppy --but that hadn’t stopped any of the twenty or so kids who had showed up from going in anyways.
Despite the cold, most of the teenagers were only in their underwear now, including Ryan. It was worth it, because getting warm after coming out of the river would be easier with dry clothes.
Tora stubbornly clung to her rolled up jeans still, and would only go into the shallows.
Ryan stretched his arms over his head and filled a plastic cup with punch --he was pretty sure that the bowl he’d taken it from wasn’t the one that had been spiked, but Tora had been too paranoid to try it.
Silly Tora. He thought, exasperated.
Other than his general annoyance at Tora’s painstakingly nervous behaviour, Ryan was enjoying his time at the party. He hadn’t gotten out to do something fun in far too long; what with his JROTC and work after school.
He turned around to find that Tora had somehow disappeared. He sighed, and scanned the area for her before finding her huddled by the bonfire trying to warm up while listening to one of the boys telling a story.
He sat down on a rock next to her and offered her a cup of punch. “It’s not poisoned, I promise. I drank out of it just a minute ago.” He teased her.
“So now it has your mouth germs in it?” She teased back. “I’ll take my chances with the poison, thanks.” She turned her attention back on the boy telling the story in front of the bonfire.
He was a senior, a grade above Ryan and Tora, and had been the one to bring gin from his parents’ liquor cabinet. He had freckled green eyes, a charmingly dimpled smile, and a tendency to flirt with any girl in his general age range that happened to be in the same vicinity as him.
He was not one of Ryan’s favorite people…
But Tora seemed to be amused by the story he was telling, her nose wrinkling in a different way: not her annoyed or nervous wrinkle, but the one she did when she thought something was so stupid that it was funny.
She made that face a lot at Ryan.
“So,” The boy continued from what Ryan hadn’t heard, “There I was, sneaking through the woods, being chased by this pack of wild dogs, trying to outsmart them. They knew the area better, they had their sense of smell on their side, but I had my brains. So I try to get downwind of them so my smell isn’t blowing towards them, and I hide inside this log. I feel like I’m there for an hour when I hear this noise. ‘Snuff, snuff, snuff’.”
The boy dropped down from the log and crouched on the ground, lowering his voice. “And I start to hear this scrabbling of their nails, as they’re creeping nearby. Closer.” He started stalking towards Tora. “Closer. I hold my breath, trying to stay as still and quiet as possible, and I keep holding my breath until I think I’m going to pass out, because I can hear them right outside. Creeping closer. Closer.”
He started circling around the rock Tora and Ryan were sitting on, and Ryan started to feel a prickle of irritation when the boy wouldn’t take his eyes off of his best friend. Ryan shifted a bit closer to her, but neither of them noticed.
“Finally, the noises stopped, and I finally let out that breath I was holding.” He sighed and stopped behind Tora. “--BAM!” He shouted, grabbing her shoulders and causing her to twitch. “Out of nowhere, one of them sticks its head inside of the log and gets its teeth around my arm!” He acted as if he were about to bite Tora’s shoulder, but she moved and rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest again.
He acted offended for a moment, and then kept going with the story. “It drags me out of the log, and so I grab the closest thing --this random stick-- and I jam it in its eye!” He finally moved away from Tora, and Ryan let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
He heard the boy say something else about running away and finding the old tire swing here before jumping into the river to get rid of the dogs. By that time, he and Tora had already stood up, and were about to walk away when the boy sharply cried, “WAIT!”
He jumped out in front of them.
“What?” Ryan growled.
The boy grinned cheekily at Tora. “She hasn’t jumped yet. It’s bad luck to come here without jumping in the water. If you don’t the one eyed dog will get you!”
In that moment, Ryan was pretty sure he had seen Tora roll her eyes back as far as they had ever gone.
“I don’t want to do it.” She scoffed. “And you’re lying about the dogs. You say this happened last week? Where’s the bite?”
“Oh come on!” The boy laughed. “Just do it. Don’t be a coward.”
“She doesn’t want to do it.” Ryan jumped in for his friend. It was one thing when he just wanted her to have fun, but once she made it one-hundred percent clear that she didn’t want to do something, he usually wouldn’t bother her about it again. This guy just wanted to antagonize her for some reason, and Ryan didn’t like it.
Back off. He added mentally, narrowing his eyes at the older and taller boy.
“Jump!” The boy started chanting. “Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!”
Other teenagers, some of them obviously intoxicated and none of them knowing why the chanting had started, joined in. “JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!”
Ryan took a step closer to Tora as they started booing her. One overenthusiastic boy even threw a spiked punch cup at her, causing cheering from the crowd.
Tora was crimson and fuming, cursing at the top of her lungs. “FINE!” She shouted. “Just, shut up! I’ll do it!”
More cheering.
Ryan made a face of disgust. “Let’s just leave. It’s not worth it.” He said in a low voice.
But before she could respond, she was practically being shoved up the hill to the overhang.
The sky rumbled angrily. It was darker overhead, and what low light was left casted wicked looking shadows around the jeering and shouting teens.The oak tree at the top of the hill look twisted and wrong, and the weatherd tire hung from it like a noose.
Someone pushed Tora towards the ledge, and the crowd formed a semicircle around her, trapping her like a pack of wild dogs, hungry for blood.
Her face twitched nervously, as if she regretted her decision of saying she would do it, and she cast Ryan a fearful glance.
That’s enough! He thought guiltily, trying to push through the crowd. I’m taking her home right now, and I’m never going to take her to one of these parties again!
Before he could get to her though, the green eyed boy had gotten impatient, and he darted out of the crowd to push her.
She slipped, yelping, and for half a second, Ryan thought she could regain her footing.
A half a second after that, she crashed into the river below, which shattered like glass around her as she plunged into the depths.
The crowd cheered for a moment, and Ryan felt a brief flicker of relief.
It was over. Now they could leave.
Then the teens went quiet.
It started to sprinkle rain, light drops appearing on the ground.
Why isn’t she coming back up?! Ryan finally pushed his way to the front of the crowd, practically throwing the boy who had instigated everything aside.
He ran to the ledge and stood over it, panicking as he searched the water for any sign of his friend.
No no no no no! He thought, dismayed. She was right all along! Where is she?!
He scrambled back from the ledge, and before he could even understand what he was doing, he ran forward and leapt off of the ledge into the river.
The cold was worse than earlier, sharper, angrier. When he surfaced for air, the rain had already begun to beat down like needles.
Ryan dove back under and opened his eyes, trying to fight the raging current and see through the bubbles and foam.
Where is she?! He screamed internally. Where is she?!
This wasn’t supposed to happen. This was not supposed to happen! He was supposed to protect her! Her mother had even told him to keep her out of trouble, even without knowing where they had been going!
He was supposed to be the one in danger, he was supposed to be the one that got himself hurt, he was supposed to be the one that died first from doing something stupid!
This was NOT supposed to happen!
Not like this. Not in cold dark sharp water. Not being forced to do something she didn’t want to do.
Not the girl who was always had his back, not the girl who had been his best friend for years, been beside him through so much --who was so fiery--
She couldn’t just be put out like this!
Where is she?! Ryan’s lungs burned frantically, and his limbs ached as he forced himself down deeper, head whipping back and forth in his manic search.
His heart almost wrenched out of his chest when he finally found her.
She was limp, her short hair floating above her, spectral in the greenish tint of light. Her leg was caught under a dead piece of wood, trapping her.
Ryan’s lungs screamed at him to surface, but he didn’t want to waste any time and he was afraid that if he went up for air, he wouldn’t be able to find her again in time.
He pushed the wood off of her leg, and grabbed her close to his chest, kicking violently to get above the water.
When he broke above the surface, he gasped roughly, blinking and trying to clear his sight in the torrent around him. He fought against the frothing surges, body burning with the effort of swimming and holding Tora at the same time.
He was starting to feel weak. A wave crashed over him and he was underwater again.
Maybe this was how it was supposed to end. He’d always heard drowning was peaceful. He could just relax, let the current drag he and Tora to a gentle sleep…
No.
With the last of what he had, he burst above the water again, desperately dragging himself and his friend to the rocky shore.
He coughed, muscles shaking, and pulled Tora out of the water. The crowd had gathered around them already, babbling and crying out and cursing.
Ryan ignored them and stared down at his friend, distraught and shaking her. “Tora!” He cried. “Tora!”
She wasn’t breathing.
No no no no no no no! This can’t be happening!
“Someone help her! She needs CPR!” Ryan shouted.
One of the skinnier boys crouched down beside her, pressing down on her chest over and over again.
Ryan stumbled back, tears in his eyes. He had brought her here. This was his fault…
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the green eyed boy try to slink away.
Oh no you don’t.
Ryan grabbed him by his shoulder and wrenched him around, striking him across the face.
The boy screamed and reached for his nose, trying to scrabble away before Ryan could hit him again.
He caught him by the throat and tackled him into the rocky ground below, fists landing against him like pistons. He fell into a rhythm he wished he wasn’t so well acquainted with, blood spraying from the boy’s nose and mouth as he screamed underneath him.
Other teens pulled Ryan off as he screamed at the boy, and tumble of swearing and loathing and death threats, frothing at the mouth and so consumed with rage that he didn’t even know what he was saying.
Somehow, he heard the coughing.
He snapped his head around in time to see Tora shoot up, water gushing from her mouth as she wretched violently. She coughed, wheezed, gasped for breath.
Ryan wrenched himself away from the boys holding him back and dropped to her side, pulling her close.
“I’m sorry!” He rasped. “I’m so sorry!”. Ryan rocked slightly, stroking strands of wet hair out of Tora’s face. “It’s going to be okay.” He tried to assure her. “You’re going to be okay. I promise.”
I promise.
She shivered and coughed as a response.
Shaking, Ryan picked Tora up and started carrying her to his car. Usually she weighed almost nothing to him, and he would often throw her over his shoulder without warning and go sprinting down a parking lot, but right now, barefoot and sore and slipping on wet pebbles, she was unwieldy and hard for him to carry.
He stumbled from the shore up the path towards the treeline, being followed by teenagers asking if she was okay and trying to apologize.
“Shut up!” Ryan snarled. “MOVE! I need to get her to the hospital!” People scattered around him fearfully, none wanting to evoke his wrath.
“I’ll call ahead and tell them you’re coming!” One of the girls called after them.
Ryan ran through the path as quickly as he could, painfully aware of each wheezing breath. He could feel Tora shuddering uncontrollably against his chest.
You’re going to be okay. You’re going to be okay. Please be okay. God I’m so sorry
He felt sick to his stomach. He needed to get her to the hospital. Now.
After what felt like far too long of running and branches whipping against his face, Ryan finally came to the side of the road where his car was parked.
Balancing Tora in one arm, Ryan frantically swung open the door and started the vehicle, not even bothering to move Tora to a different seat or put on a seatbelt before he was speeding down the empty road.
“You’re going to be okay, you’re going to be okay…” He kept repeating.
But she didn’t seem okay. She was so cold, barely responsive.
Ryan flicked on the heater at full blast. It was getting darker and harder to see by the minute, and he switched on the windshield wipers just in time to see a fluorescent green sign.
INKSPILL CREEK: 5 MILES.
He focused on the sign a bit too long, and almost missed the curve in the road. He swerved down the slick road, tires screeching as he almost went careening off into the woods. He cursed and pulled the wheel, correcting himself only just in time.
COME ON! He screamed internally. He glanced down at Tora. Her eyelids fluttered as she coughed and hacked.
Why was she so cold?
Five miles. Five miles.
He could do this. The hospital was right inside of town.
Five miles.
Ryan’s eyes flickered along the road. He knew he was going past the speed limit, even in the extreme weather, but he felt like every second that passed by was a second closer to the worst happening.
Tora was hyperventilating next to him, not even able to get any words out as she fought for air. She was in pain --he could tell.
He focused back on the road. He passed a mile marker.
Four miles.
The sky roared at him, trying to drown them both with its tears. The windshield wipers were on their fastest setting, but every time they moved from a place on the glass, it was immediately replaced by a sheet of water.
Tora shivered, teeth chattering through her ragged breathing as droplets of river water fell into her face from her hair.
Ryan had the striking memory of a night with weather like this when they were younger. He had offered her his hoodie because she didn’t have any of her own, and he was pretty sure she still had it today. They had watched the windows in the backseat of Ryan’s dad’s car, placing bets on which raindrop would fall the fastest with no currency other than bragging rights.
Now he felt like he was the raindrop, racing down the window with the consequences of life or death ahead of him.
The windshield was blurry, almost impossible to see out of, but he caught another mile marker.
Three miles.
Why was she so cold?
Ryan risked taking a hand off the steering wheel to rub his hand up and down her arm, trying to warm her up somehow. He wished he had a hoodie to offer her right now; or any article of clothing for that matter, but he had left his clothes back at the river, and they would be soaking wet anyways.
Ryan jumpily glanced out of the side window to see lighting dance across the sky in a jagged white arc. It looked so cruel, so biting.
He remembered a sunnier day, two summers ago, when he and Tora had been at a pool. She had slipped in and gotten water up her nose, but she had come sputtering back up. They both had laughed.
She had been okay.
She has to be okay. He thought painfully. Please God, please let her be okay.
Another marker.
Two miles.
He could see the lights of the city down below, all blurred together and shapeless like an oil painting. The road was downhill and winding now, and the forest was starting to spread out the closer it got to the city.
Tora had stopped coughing now, and was taking sharp and sudden intakes of breath, her ash-brown eyes dull and almost black in the darkness.
Ryan’s knuckles were white against the steering wheel, and his own breath had started to shudder. Raindrops weren't the only thing blurring his vision now; he became aware of his own sobbing.
Why couldn’t it have been him?!
He couldn’t lose her like this!
One mile.
He sped along the road, nearly hydroplaning.
The asphalt looked like the surface of an inky lake waiting to swallow them up into nothing and never let them out. In his mind, he could see Tora fall in and disappear below the surface, replaced by nothing but blackness and leaving a hollow feeling in his chest.
He swallowed, throat convulsing with his own tears.
Lights distorted in glows of orange and white on the slick road, cast from street lights and passing cars.
“You’re going to be okay.” He rasped. He wasn’t even sure if he was talking to Tora or himself anymore.
Finally, he saw the hospital, glowing like a beacon in the storm, and pulled, screeching, into the parking lot.
Slamming on the breaks and coming to a ragged halt near the front of the building,
Ryan threw the vehicle into park and staggered out, Tora limp in his arms and pressed up against his chest.
“HELP! SHE NEEDS HELP!”
He sprinted across the rest of the parking lot, rain pelting him from above like it was laughing at his struggles. He almost slipped on the slick concrete, but regained his footing and kept running.
He slammed open the door with his shoulder, slipping on the concrete and barely stopping himself from careening into the front desk.
“HELP HER!” He cried.
Already, doctors were gathering around in shock. The girl must have not called ahead after all.
“What happened?” One asked as she led him down a maze of halls and into a room.
“River! Party! Someone pushed her in --almost drowned --got her out but she has asthma --she’s cold --HELP HER!” Ryan gasped, tears in his eyes. He laid Tora gently on the bed before someone shooed him out of the room.
The rest of it became a blur.
They asked him more questions when he had calmed down, and he’d answered them all to the best of his ability.
He had been the one to call Tora’s mom and let her know what had happened: where they had really been, what had gone down.
She yelled at him for a solid ten minutes even as she was on her way to the hospital.
He wondered if she would let Tora hang out with him ever again. He wouldn’t blame either of them if they didn’t want her to.
The scenario replayed in his mind over and over again. Why hadn’t he intervened earlier? Why had he taken her there in the first place? What was wrong with him?!
He paced back and forth, back and forth in the waiting room, ignoring the stares from the other people there.
Finally, a nurse told him that Tora would be okay, and that they were going to keep her for a couple days to make sure she didn’t get worse.
He’d said that he was going to stay too if that were the case.They had told him he would probably have to put some clothes on if he wanted to stay. He could agree with that.
His mother had showed up with his father, both in raincoats. His father yelled at him. He’d thought they’d been going to a bowling alley. His mother cried. She asked Ryan if he was okay, and when he said he was, she asked him why he had lied about where he was going, and he hadn’t had an answer. In the end they both hugged him and scolded him, and his dad drove back home to pick up dry clothes for him when he refused to come home himself.
He was not going to leave Tora here without him.
Ryan stared out at the mostly empty waiting room, still replaying the earlier incident. He had his head down, his hands clasped together with his elbows resting on his knees.
He knew one thing for certain now:
This was never going to happen again.
He wouldn’t let it.
He wouldn’t let anything hurt her like that.
Ever again.
She crossed her arms over her chest and stared warily out at the river. “I don’t think that’s a very good idea…” She said anxiously. “The water’s cold and my asthma… I forgot my inhaler...”
She was always so anxious. That was one thing about his friend that Ryan could barely stand. With him, it was always leap first, ask questions later. Life was supposed to be fun! Tora was too nervous to have fun… In Ryan’s opinion, she should have gotten out of her comfort zone more often to do things like, say, jumping out of a tire swing on a ledge and into a river for instance!
“It’ll be fun.” Ryan nudged her again. “Watch, I’ll do it, then you can follow me.”
Tora wrinkled her nose. She’d always had a button nose, probably because of her biological father’s japanese nationality, and it would almost be cute if the rest of her wasn’t so scrappy looking. “You already convinced me to come to this party in the first place. Plus, you convinced me to get into the water. What more do you want from me?” She snorted, tucking a dripping, tangled, overgrown strand of dark russet hair behind her ear.
“I want you to jump.” Ryan grinned, but he wasn’t going to keep badgering her if she truly didn’t want to.
She curled her toes against the water lapping at her feet, face uncertain and wary.
Ryan splashed her with cold droplets from the river, causing her to shriek and jump to her feet, scrambling to the pebbly shore. Ryan laughed at her and followed her.
It wasn’t the best day for a party at the river: they sky was blanketed in a soft grey above, with darker angrier clouds on their way, promising rain. The water was cold and sharp and choppy --but that hadn’t stopped any of the twenty or so kids who had showed up from going in anyways.
Despite the cold, most of the teenagers were only in their underwear now, including Ryan. It was worth it, because getting warm after coming out of the river would be easier with dry clothes.
Tora stubbornly clung to her rolled up jeans still, and would only go into the shallows.
Ryan stretched his arms over his head and filled a plastic cup with punch --he was pretty sure that the bowl he’d taken it from wasn’t the one that had been spiked, but Tora had been too paranoid to try it.
Silly Tora. He thought, exasperated.
Other than his general annoyance at Tora’s painstakingly nervous behaviour, Ryan was enjoying his time at the party. He hadn’t gotten out to do something fun in far too long; what with his JROTC and work after school.
He turned around to find that Tora had somehow disappeared. He sighed, and scanned the area for her before finding her huddled by the bonfire trying to warm up while listening to one of the boys telling a story.
He sat down on a rock next to her and offered her a cup of punch. “It’s not poisoned, I promise. I drank out of it just a minute ago.” He teased her.
“So now it has your mouth germs in it?” She teased back. “I’ll take my chances with the poison, thanks.” She turned her attention back on the boy telling the story in front of the bonfire.
He was a senior, a grade above Ryan and Tora, and had been the one to bring gin from his parents’ liquor cabinet. He had freckled green eyes, a charmingly dimpled smile, and a tendency to flirt with any girl in his general age range that happened to be in the same vicinity as him.
He was not one of Ryan’s favorite people…
But Tora seemed to be amused by the story he was telling, her nose wrinkling in a different way: not her annoyed or nervous wrinkle, but the one she did when she thought something was so stupid that it was funny.
She made that face a lot at Ryan.
“So,” The boy continued from what Ryan hadn’t heard, “There I was, sneaking through the woods, being chased by this pack of wild dogs, trying to outsmart them. They knew the area better, they had their sense of smell on their side, but I had my brains. So I try to get downwind of them so my smell isn’t blowing towards them, and I hide inside this log. I feel like I’m there for an hour when I hear this noise. ‘Snuff, snuff, snuff’.”
The boy dropped down from the log and crouched on the ground, lowering his voice. “And I start to hear this scrabbling of their nails, as they’re creeping nearby. Closer.” He started stalking towards Tora. “Closer. I hold my breath, trying to stay as still and quiet as possible, and I keep holding my breath until I think I’m going to pass out, because I can hear them right outside. Creeping closer. Closer.”
He started circling around the rock Tora and Ryan were sitting on, and Ryan started to feel a prickle of irritation when the boy wouldn’t take his eyes off of his best friend. Ryan shifted a bit closer to her, but neither of them noticed.
“Finally, the noises stopped, and I finally let out that breath I was holding.” He sighed and stopped behind Tora. “--BAM!” He shouted, grabbing her shoulders and causing her to twitch. “Out of nowhere, one of them sticks its head inside of the log and gets its teeth around my arm!” He acted as if he were about to bite Tora’s shoulder, but she moved and rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest again.
He acted offended for a moment, and then kept going with the story. “It drags me out of the log, and so I grab the closest thing --this random stick-- and I jam it in its eye!” He finally moved away from Tora, and Ryan let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
He heard the boy say something else about running away and finding the old tire swing here before jumping into the river to get rid of the dogs. By that time, he and Tora had already stood up, and were about to walk away when the boy sharply cried, “WAIT!”
He jumped out in front of them.
“What?” Ryan growled.
The boy grinned cheekily at Tora. “She hasn’t jumped yet. It’s bad luck to come here without jumping in the water. If you don’t the one eyed dog will get you!”
In that moment, Ryan was pretty sure he had seen Tora roll her eyes back as far as they had ever gone.
“I don’t want to do it.” She scoffed. “And you’re lying about the dogs. You say this happened last week? Where’s the bite?”
“Oh come on!” The boy laughed. “Just do it. Don’t be a coward.”
“She doesn’t want to do it.” Ryan jumped in for his friend. It was one thing when he just wanted her to have fun, but once she made it one-hundred percent clear that she didn’t want to do something, he usually wouldn’t bother her about it again. This guy just wanted to antagonize her for some reason, and Ryan didn’t like it.
Back off. He added mentally, narrowing his eyes at the older and taller boy.
“Jump!” The boy started chanting. “Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!”
Other teenagers, some of them obviously intoxicated and none of them knowing why the chanting had started, joined in. “JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!”
Ryan took a step closer to Tora as they started booing her. One overenthusiastic boy even threw a spiked punch cup at her, causing cheering from the crowd.
Tora was crimson and fuming, cursing at the top of her lungs. “FINE!” She shouted. “Just, shut up! I’ll do it!”
More cheering.
Ryan made a face of disgust. “Let’s just leave. It’s not worth it.” He said in a low voice.
But before she could respond, she was practically being shoved up the hill to the overhang.
The sky rumbled angrily. It was darker overhead, and what low light was left casted wicked looking shadows around the jeering and shouting teens.The oak tree at the top of the hill look twisted and wrong, and the weatherd tire hung from it like a noose.
Someone pushed Tora towards the ledge, and the crowd formed a semicircle around her, trapping her like a pack of wild dogs, hungry for blood.
Her face twitched nervously, as if she regretted her decision of saying she would do it, and she cast Ryan a fearful glance.
That’s enough! He thought guiltily, trying to push through the crowd. I’m taking her home right now, and I’m never going to take her to one of these parties again!
Before he could get to her though, the green eyed boy had gotten impatient, and he darted out of the crowd to push her.
She slipped, yelping, and for half a second, Ryan thought she could regain her footing.
A half a second after that, she crashed into the river below, which shattered like glass around her as she plunged into the depths.
The crowd cheered for a moment, and Ryan felt a brief flicker of relief.
It was over. Now they could leave.
Then the teens went quiet.
It started to sprinkle rain, light drops appearing on the ground.
Why isn’t she coming back up?! Ryan finally pushed his way to the front of the crowd, practically throwing the boy who had instigated everything aside.
He ran to the ledge and stood over it, panicking as he searched the water for any sign of his friend.
No no no no no! He thought, dismayed. She was right all along! Where is she?!
He scrambled back from the ledge, and before he could even understand what he was doing, he ran forward and leapt off of the ledge into the river.
The cold was worse than earlier, sharper, angrier. When he surfaced for air, the rain had already begun to beat down like needles.
Ryan dove back under and opened his eyes, trying to fight the raging current and see through the bubbles and foam.
Where is she?! He screamed internally. Where is she?!
This wasn’t supposed to happen. This was not supposed to happen! He was supposed to protect her! Her mother had even told him to keep her out of trouble, even without knowing where they had been going!
He was supposed to be the one in danger, he was supposed to be the one that got himself hurt, he was supposed to be the one that died first from doing something stupid!
This was NOT supposed to happen!
Not like this. Not in cold dark sharp water. Not being forced to do something she didn’t want to do.
Not the girl who was always had his back, not the girl who had been his best friend for years, been beside him through so much --who was so fiery--
She couldn’t just be put out like this!
Where is she?! Ryan’s lungs burned frantically, and his limbs ached as he forced himself down deeper, head whipping back and forth in his manic search.
His heart almost wrenched out of his chest when he finally found her.
She was limp, her short hair floating above her, spectral in the greenish tint of light. Her leg was caught under a dead piece of wood, trapping her.
Ryan’s lungs screamed at him to surface, but he didn’t want to waste any time and he was afraid that if he went up for air, he wouldn’t be able to find her again in time.
He pushed the wood off of her leg, and grabbed her close to his chest, kicking violently to get above the water.
When he broke above the surface, he gasped roughly, blinking and trying to clear his sight in the torrent around him. He fought against the frothing surges, body burning with the effort of swimming and holding Tora at the same time.
He was starting to feel weak. A wave crashed over him and he was underwater again.
Maybe this was how it was supposed to end. He’d always heard drowning was peaceful. He could just relax, let the current drag he and Tora to a gentle sleep…
No.
With the last of what he had, he burst above the water again, desperately dragging himself and his friend to the rocky shore.
He coughed, muscles shaking, and pulled Tora out of the water. The crowd had gathered around them already, babbling and crying out and cursing.
Ryan ignored them and stared down at his friend, distraught and shaking her. “Tora!” He cried. “Tora!”
She wasn’t breathing.
No no no no no no no! This can’t be happening!
“Someone help her! She needs CPR!” Ryan shouted.
One of the skinnier boys crouched down beside her, pressing down on her chest over and over again.
Ryan stumbled back, tears in his eyes. He had brought her here. This was his fault…
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the green eyed boy try to slink away.
Oh no you don’t.
Ryan grabbed him by his shoulder and wrenched him around, striking him across the face.
The boy screamed and reached for his nose, trying to scrabble away before Ryan could hit him again.
He caught him by the throat and tackled him into the rocky ground below, fists landing against him like pistons. He fell into a rhythm he wished he wasn’t so well acquainted with, blood spraying from the boy’s nose and mouth as he screamed underneath him.
Other teens pulled Ryan off as he screamed at the boy, and tumble of swearing and loathing and death threats, frothing at the mouth and so consumed with rage that he didn’t even know what he was saying.
Somehow, he heard the coughing.
He snapped his head around in time to see Tora shoot up, water gushing from her mouth as she wretched violently. She coughed, wheezed, gasped for breath.
Ryan wrenched himself away from the boys holding him back and dropped to her side, pulling her close.
“I’m sorry!” He rasped. “I’m so sorry!”. Ryan rocked slightly, stroking strands of wet hair out of Tora’s face. “It’s going to be okay.” He tried to assure her. “You’re going to be okay. I promise.”
I promise.
She shivered and coughed as a response.
Shaking, Ryan picked Tora up and started carrying her to his car. Usually she weighed almost nothing to him, and he would often throw her over his shoulder without warning and go sprinting down a parking lot, but right now, barefoot and sore and slipping on wet pebbles, she was unwieldy and hard for him to carry.
He stumbled from the shore up the path towards the treeline, being followed by teenagers asking if she was okay and trying to apologize.
“Shut up!” Ryan snarled. “MOVE! I need to get her to the hospital!” People scattered around him fearfully, none wanting to evoke his wrath.
“I’ll call ahead and tell them you’re coming!” One of the girls called after them.
Ryan ran through the path as quickly as he could, painfully aware of each wheezing breath. He could feel Tora shuddering uncontrollably against his chest.
You’re going to be okay. You’re going to be okay. Please be okay. God I’m so sorry
He felt sick to his stomach. He needed to get her to the hospital. Now.
After what felt like far too long of running and branches whipping against his face, Ryan finally came to the side of the road where his car was parked.
Balancing Tora in one arm, Ryan frantically swung open the door and started the vehicle, not even bothering to move Tora to a different seat or put on a seatbelt before he was speeding down the empty road.
“You’re going to be okay, you’re going to be okay…” He kept repeating.
But she didn’t seem okay. She was so cold, barely responsive.
Ryan flicked on the heater at full blast. It was getting darker and harder to see by the minute, and he switched on the windshield wipers just in time to see a fluorescent green sign.
INKSPILL CREEK: 5 MILES.
He focused on the sign a bit too long, and almost missed the curve in the road. He swerved down the slick road, tires screeching as he almost went careening off into the woods. He cursed and pulled the wheel, correcting himself only just in time.
COME ON! He screamed internally. He glanced down at Tora. Her eyelids fluttered as she coughed and hacked.
Why was she so cold?
Five miles. Five miles.
He could do this. The hospital was right inside of town.
Five miles.
Ryan’s eyes flickered along the road. He knew he was going past the speed limit, even in the extreme weather, but he felt like every second that passed by was a second closer to the worst happening.
Tora was hyperventilating next to him, not even able to get any words out as she fought for air. She was in pain --he could tell.
He focused back on the road. He passed a mile marker.
Four miles.
The sky roared at him, trying to drown them both with its tears. The windshield wipers were on their fastest setting, but every time they moved from a place on the glass, it was immediately replaced by a sheet of water.
Tora shivered, teeth chattering through her ragged breathing as droplets of river water fell into her face from her hair.
Ryan had the striking memory of a night with weather like this when they were younger. He had offered her his hoodie because she didn’t have any of her own, and he was pretty sure she still had it today. They had watched the windows in the backseat of Ryan’s dad’s car, placing bets on which raindrop would fall the fastest with no currency other than bragging rights.
Now he felt like he was the raindrop, racing down the window with the consequences of life or death ahead of him.
The windshield was blurry, almost impossible to see out of, but he caught another mile marker.
Three miles.
Why was she so cold?
Ryan risked taking a hand off the steering wheel to rub his hand up and down her arm, trying to warm her up somehow. He wished he had a hoodie to offer her right now; or any article of clothing for that matter, but he had left his clothes back at the river, and they would be soaking wet anyways.
Ryan jumpily glanced out of the side window to see lighting dance across the sky in a jagged white arc. It looked so cruel, so biting.
He remembered a sunnier day, two summers ago, when he and Tora had been at a pool. She had slipped in and gotten water up her nose, but she had come sputtering back up. They both had laughed.
She had been okay.
She has to be okay. He thought painfully. Please God, please let her be okay.
Another marker.
Two miles.
He could see the lights of the city down below, all blurred together and shapeless like an oil painting. The road was downhill and winding now, and the forest was starting to spread out the closer it got to the city.
Tora had stopped coughing now, and was taking sharp and sudden intakes of breath, her ash-brown eyes dull and almost black in the darkness.
Ryan’s knuckles were white against the steering wheel, and his own breath had started to shudder. Raindrops weren't the only thing blurring his vision now; he became aware of his own sobbing.
Why couldn’t it have been him?!
He couldn’t lose her like this!
One mile.
He sped along the road, nearly hydroplaning.
The asphalt looked like the surface of an inky lake waiting to swallow them up into nothing and never let them out. In his mind, he could see Tora fall in and disappear below the surface, replaced by nothing but blackness and leaving a hollow feeling in his chest.
He swallowed, throat convulsing with his own tears.
Lights distorted in glows of orange and white on the slick road, cast from street lights and passing cars.
“You’re going to be okay.” He rasped. He wasn’t even sure if he was talking to Tora or himself anymore.
Finally, he saw the hospital, glowing like a beacon in the storm, and pulled, screeching, into the parking lot.
Slamming on the breaks and coming to a ragged halt near the front of the building,
Ryan threw the vehicle into park and staggered out, Tora limp in his arms and pressed up against his chest.
“HELP! SHE NEEDS HELP!”
He sprinted across the rest of the parking lot, rain pelting him from above like it was laughing at his struggles. He almost slipped on the slick concrete, but regained his footing and kept running.
He slammed open the door with his shoulder, slipping on the concrete and barely stopping himself from careening into the front desk.
“HELP HER!” He cried.
Already, doctors were gathering around in shock. The girl must have not called ahead after all.
“What happened?” One asked as she led him down a maze of halls and into a room.
“River! Party! Someone pushed her in --almost drowned --got her out but she has asthma --she’s cold --HELP HER!” Ryan gasped, tears in his eyes. He laid Tora gently on the bed before someone shooed him out of the room.
The rest of it became a blur.
They asked him more questions when he had calmed down, and he’d answered them all to the best of his ability.
He had been the one to call Tora’s mom and let her know what had happened: where they had really been, what had gone down.
She yelled at him for a solid ten minutes even as she was on her way to the hospital.
He wondered if she would let Tora hang out with him ever again. He wouldn’t blame either of them if they didn’t want her to.
The scenario replayed in his mind over and over again. Why hadn’t he intervened earlier? Why had he taken her there in the first place? What was wrong with him?!
He paced back and forth, back and forth in the waiting room, ignoring the stares from the other people there.
Finally, a nurse told him that Tora would be okay, and that they were going to keep her for a couple days to make sure she didn’t get worse.
He’d said that he was going to stay too if that were the case.They had told him he would probably have to put some clothes on if he wanted to stay. He could agree with that.
His mother had showed up with his father, both in raincoats. His father yelled at him. He’d thought they’d been going to a bowling alley. His mother cried. She asked Ryan if he was okay, and when he said he was, she asked him why he had lied about where he was going, and he hadn’t had an answer. In the end they both hugged him and scolded him, and his dad drove back home to pick up dry clothes for him when he refused to come home himself.
He was not going to leave Tora here without him.
Ryan stared out at the mostly empty waiting room, still replaying the earlier incident. He had his head down, his hands clasped together with his elbows resting on his knees.
He knew one thing for certain now:
This was never going to happen again.
He wouldn’t let it.
He wouldn’t let anything hurt her like that.
Ever again.
