two.
I walk home. In absolutely no hurry to get scolded by Father, I carefully lead my steed down the backstreets. I came here often when I was younger, playing on the steep, stone walls that separated each cottage. The stones are cracked now; they had borne the weight of summer storms and heavy winds for far too long. The children playing in the street stop to watch me, a knight in full armor smelling the flowers along the road. One even waves, making me smile and wave back. Things haven’t changed after all. I could even bring back some of the flowers to Mother.
I snap out of my daydreams as someone calls for their children to come home. The streets are no longer safe. I pay no attention. Though the armor I wore significantly reduced how much I can move, it also provided significant protection against attackers.
“Sir, why are you here?” I hear a voice say softly, and I turn to see a man standing in the doorway of a small cottage, his children peeking from behind him. Confused, I turn to look at him.
“What?” I respond, baffled. “I’m walking my horse home.”
I mentally slap myself. What a stupid thing to say.
“We’ve paid our taxes to the crown, sir. I am sorry to say that I do not have any more to give,” he continues, bowing respectfully to me. “Take whatever you need, just please do not harm my children.”
“W- what?” I repeat. “I’m sorry, but I’m just passing through.”
I point down the street. “I live that way, and, uh, wanted to survey some areas before going home.”
The man furrows his eyebrows.
“Sir, if you have come here for something, take it. Please drop your act.”
I blink. Act? Why would I act?
“Um, I’m just going to pass through. I’m sorry for causing you confusion mister. I’m not much of a knight,” I said hurriedly, mounting my horse. “I’ll be off now, have a nice day.”
I nod my head politely before he could say anything else, and ride towards the main via.
The dead knight’s body is still here, his head still nowhere to be found. I cringe away; I had taken that route specifically to avoid this scene, but something kept drawing me back. He at least deserves a burial. So I steel my nerves, and approach the body, holding my breath to avoid the stench.
I can feel someone’s eyes on me.
Looking up, I see Jericho’s cold eyes, as he sits on the platform, dangling his legs off the edge. Stripped of the refinery and gold, he looks like a boy who grew up too fast. With drooping shoulders and messy hair, he looks like a lost child. He speaks before I could look away.
“What are you doing, Laz?” he murmurs. I stand back up, stepping away from the body before I draw a breath.
“Jeri, he at least deserves a burial,” I say, and he blinks, surprised, before standing up.
“Was I too harsh?” he asks. His voice is thick with regret. “I can’t even find the head. I just -- Hamara wasn’t at all what he made her out to be. She- just look at the state of everyone. The street you came from. Just look at the fear, Laz. They were scared of you. They’re scared of everyone. They’re probably now scared of me.”
“May I come up?” I request, taking off my helmet. “And may I take off this armor, it’s too heavy.”
Jericho smiles, and I took that as an answer in the affirmative. So I strip the metal away, and tie my horse’s reins to a post. While I make my way up, he speaks again.
“If I start abusing the Commonwealth, I want you to take my place. I mean, challenge me. Er, you know. I think you could win,” he muses, and sits back down, crossing his legs. I glance at him.
“What did Hamara do?” I question softly, as I sit down next to him. “Father had always praised her.”
He scoffs loudly, before clearing his throat.
“Laz, do I need to explain? Just walk the streets more and you’ll see,” he says. “Just pay attention. I know you’re a kind soul.”
I hum in response.
“Kind?” I reply after a brief pause. “How does kindness have to do with the situation on hand?”
To this, Jericho shakes his head.
“Go home, friend. I’ll send for you if I need help,” he sighs, and stands up. “I’ll see you soon.”
I watch him go, and leap off of the platform after his shadow disappears into the castle. I untie the stallion, and start home.
Remnants of what the knights had done could still be seen. A mother, calling for her child, catches sight of me, and trips over her swollen feet to get to me before dropping down to her knees.
“Sir, please. Please help. My son ran off to watch the coronation, and he hasn’t come home. He’s only ten, sir. He’s so young, and he may have gotten lost, sir. I am so sorry for bothering you sir, but please. He’s only ten,” she wheezes, lowering her head down to the cobble. “Or at least help me pray. Maybe God will bring him back. Please sir, help me save my son.”
I kneel, and reach a hand out to help her up, to which she immediately recoils.
“Ma’am-”
“I don’t need your pity!” she screams, scrambling backwards. “I just need your help!”
“Ma’am, I need you to calm down,” I try, keeping my voice low. “I can’t help you unless you calm down.”
Her head snaps in my direction.
“Then I don’t need your help. Hamara’s death is just the beginning.”
With that, she limps away, leaving me to contemplate what just happened.
My father’s stern face greets me as I walk through the doorway. But where I expect to see anger, I see a soft kindness that was strange, but welcome. He opens his arms, and I cave into the embrace. How long had it been since I last hugged him? A few years, at least. I think of the last time I laughed with him, when I was a child atop his shoulders pretending I could fly. I can hear my mother and sister’s lively chatter in the kitchen. Since when had we become so serious?
“How are you feeling?” he asks. “Much happened today that we were all unprepared for.”
I shrug helplessly as I try to count the number of people I watched die. The knight, the small child, the people I had turned a blind eye to, who were crushed under the feet of the other knights. I want to believe Jericho. So much so that my head hurt thinking about it, but I can’t shake the feeling that he is hiding something.
“I know the king,” I blurt. “He was in my Academy classes, he’s a... friend.”
He pauses, and his eyes lose the brief warmth they held.
“...friend,” he repeats cautiously. “Your ‘friend’ killed a friend of mine.”
I blink. “Your... friend?”
“Knight Izaiah was a great friend of mine. Hamara’s right hand man; he would have died for her, and I guess he did,” he says wistfully. “I just wish that he got a burial. A proper one. That new king just left his body there.”
Jericho’s words echo back to me. Was I too harsh? I just nod along. Is father being too harsh? I jump when his fist slams against the wall.
“Damn kings think they can get away with anything. There’s no consequence for death anymore,” he shouts, and the house falls silent. “Actions have their consequences. They always do.”
I think back to the child. Consequences, did their actions have consequences? That child’s mother must be in so much grief. But I didn’t dare bring it up.
“Go to your room, Larazus. Your mother will call you down for dinner soon. Think about what I’ve said.”
With that, he turns away, and trudges to his study, leaving me to stand there in shock once again. I feel a tug at my sleeve, and I look down at the batter-covered fingers of my sister.
“Lars, please help mama and I,” she demands, and points to the kitchen. I kneel down and take her hands.
“No, Jojo, papa’s told me to go to my room for a bit,” I say in response, trying my best to give her a smile. Her eyes widen.
“But you’re an old man now! Papa can’t tell you what to do anymore! Papa never tells me what to do! He just tells me to listen to mama.” I choke trying to laugh.
“That’s because you’re still young Jo,” I mutter as she looks at me with a confused expression.
“I’m eight! I’m eight!” she shouts, wriggling in my arms. “I’m old too!” I laugh -- a real one -- and her mouth cracks into a toothy smile.
“Yay, you still work!” she says excitedly, and smears batter over my nose. “Now will you help us?”
I shake my head and stand up.
“Sorry, I gotta do some stuff first, I’ll try to help later okay?”
Her shoulders droop. She says nothing as she wanders back to the kitchen. I watch her go, and a twinge of guilt ricochets through my heart as I make my way to my room.
Think about it, my father had said. But what is there to think of? Who am I to believe? I know both Jericho and Father were sincere. But Father lets loyalty cloud his judgement, and Jericho could have changed. I want to scream in frustration, but I hold it in as I open the door and fall face-first onto my bed. Ah, sweet softness of pillows and blankets. How nice it is to be back in my room, away from all the disasters of the outside. I breathe in, taking in the scent of freshly washed sheets. They smell like freshly cut grass, I think. I look out the window to the square shrubs that had been cut by the garden caretaker this morning. I had seen them on my way out of the stable. I sigh and sit up. There is no point wallowing in confusion. I stand up, stretching, and I hear my name being called from the kitchen. Joan, no doubt, wants me to help with the bread. So I yell, “Coming!” and open the door, expelling my worries with an exhale. I smile as my little sister comes running up to me with open arms, and I will myself to remain ignorant for at least a little while longer. I will smile, and I will laugh like nothing is wrong. If only life was as easy as hiding behind a mask.
update: first chapter changed to present tense, will update post later
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