Dragon Share

I see a lot of lair reviews that contain paragraphs of praise. I understand why these are popular! I enjoy them myself. FR is a timesink and a place to escape from reality, so go on, get those dopamine hits from your pixel dragons! However........ positivity can be exhausting.

How about something else?

It's not a sophisticated critique, but it's not a outright roast. It's somewhere in between, thus "harsh review". (You know what? They're critiques now. Same difference.) Think me sitting on Rotten Tomatoes clickity clacking on my keyboard about the last movie I saw. It's my subjective opinion with some degree of objective thought behind it. I won't pull my punches. I'll just clickity clack.

My qualifications include a lifetime of complaining, a childhood spent with books instead of friends, and passive consumption of writing advice. Also, I'm a psychology major so I analyze Stuff and Things in spreadsheets.


What You Get:
1) A paragraph+ about your overall lair and/or den.
2) At least one individual dragon critique.

Do tell me if you want me to focus on something or skip parts of your lair. I'll use my best judgement otherwise.

What I Get: Whatever you think I deserve. I would appreciate more than the pennies, dust bunnies, and old sticks of gum you found under your couch cushions. If you'd rather pay in something other than t/g, I LOVE apparel that's a step above "junk apparel" (as in pretty pink bows). A variety of other things are also appreciated. Try me.


Disclaimer 1: I am throwing stones in a glass house. My personal lair is a WIP trash fire of whatever I can manage on a vault filled with cobwebs.

Disclaimer 2: I am providing a voluntary service. Do not report me if you dislike something I say.

Disclaimer 3: I am a sentient being with personal biases. That's just how it be.


First come, first serve (unless you bribe me with something crazy like scrolls, eggs, or a large sum of dragon cash). This is a casual thread so feel free to yeet me payment before or after your review. Don't rush me. Computer screens trigger my migraines.

REVIEWING...

• @/ArtemisaEternity
• @/Silverishness
• @/Sonora
• @/zimvoid
• @/exaltiora
• @/Dragonblight

PINGLIST
@/owleics @/VeniVidiVici @/Xiabrine @/KrystalRage @/Shatapatrika @/Iniimical @/cantripping @/BruseRuby @/yiinji @/Chocoli @/Tammoratya @/Flail @/aaviko @/GrimWhor @/Violence @/K1NG @/1010nightflyer @/SetoPool


I am subscribed.

Please, I despise flowers and rainbows, I need reality in my life!!

My Lair is also a big WIP, with Lore so scattered it may not be easy to understand by anyone who isn't me... but anyways, have at it.

Only the Ranked Members tab and the Elemental Traitors tab has Lore, the others are utility tabs. On my den I got levelled fodder and a bunch of G1's if you just wanna look at em for funsies.

Most of my Lore dragons have snipets on their bio, or at least a rank/occupations, so you could check if these are cohesive with their apparel or nah? Also got some with already coded bio layouts so, those you could also check...

Yeah. Just do what you feel like doing.

Should I send payment in advance or wait for the finished review?

Edit: ALSO! The guardian female named Praetorian has a full Plague subspecies work-in-progress thingy on her bio, so some input on that would be VERY appreciated since the species lore ties very closely with a segment of my Lair's Lore.

I'm game. An overall review is fine, but I'd be real glad for a few individuals. You can completely ignore the Outskirts, Gene Pool, and Yeet tabs, unless you like sifting through 300 gene projects lol.

Just don't forget the Hib Den. That's where most of my permas are.

Have fun!

Ignore anything that's starving, ADHD is to blame there and not my dragons inability to feed themselves

...200g good?

have a go at it!!!

anyones fine except 2nd page of my wayfarers tab!

@ArtemisaEternity Welcome to brutalhonesty dot com! I'll keep all that in mind. As much as I like instant gratification, I have no examples right now so you can send payment now or wait to see the final product.

@Silverishness Den and Lair it is. I may or may not sift through a few projects. We'll see!

@Sonora I am very happy with 200g! I won't take into consideration their hunger levels :>

@zimvoid Will do!

Well, I'm going to cap the thread now so I don't wake up with a flood of notifications. If you come from the Discord server you can still request a review.

hiiii here from discord,

pls ignore the last 2 tabs of my lair and the hibden umu , will send u assorted familiars

@ArtemisaEternity BE NOT AFRAID. I went a little crazy on this review because it's the first I've ever written, not because your lair is in dire need of a long-winded lecture :p Also, thank you for your generosity! ----- [center][b]OVERVIEW[/b][/center] A quick glance over your lair nets positive thoughts. The red is varied enough to hold interest. The classic desaturated plague aesthetic is done well. However, you suffer from the bane of every Flight Rising user’s existence: a top-heavy lair. The cohesion falls apart towards the bottom of the page. Scroll down to where Arterial sits to feel the dissonance. [LIST=1] [*] Sometimes a new page is necessary. A new page would look like a discard pile in this case, and we don’t want dragons we like in a discard pile*. [*] Sometimes shuffling your dragons like a deck of cards is necessary. Try to rearrange your dragons around and chug away at outfit projects until it blends in. [*] Sometimes creating a gradient is necessary. Those bright orange and monochrome b&w dragons could sit at the bottom row. [/LIST] [i]*Seeing as there’s a theme of death and the undead among the grayscale dragons, purchasing a few more could make for an interesting graveyard-esque tab.[/i] [b]Addressing lore:[/b] Large, clunky free-to-use codes make me nervous. They're easily misused. "Does your bio have your coding, or does your coding have your bio?" Unless you have plans to expand every bio to walls of text, I would find simpler replacements. I think you can make it work, though, particularly looking at Artemisa's bio. Speaking of, Artemisa blends exposition with narrative. Centurion even has epistolary content! I'd like to see this continue across your lair as you write. There's plenty of political intrigue and mystery to dance around. Keep using what you have as a springboard for other dragons. For example: a dragon you have no lore ideas for could be one of Yakov's... success stories. Overlap between dragons adds depth. Likewise, referencing prior events like “the usurpation” makes your clan feel more real. Let me do a deep dive here... Right now, you’re sitting on a typical plague lair. Sometimes plague users compete to be as gross as possible. You won’t win that fight. Instead… have you ever played Dark Souls and/or Bloodborne? I have a feeling you'd enjoy writing lore similarly to those games. Bleak fragments... name drops... referenced events... it'll draw out your strengths and allow you to scatter your clan's history and secrets so that other users are drawn in and want to "collect" the pieces of the story. Most video games are like this. Dark Souls just happens to be thematically "plague". Examples: [url=https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd.net/ugc/544152088868311145/3A90E694CBF2143E5F55E46A18AA5894DE860EBE/]x[/url] [url=https://memestatic1.fjcdn.com/comments/Is+it+considered+skipping+dialogue+in+dark+souls+when+i+_12b09f354edccacb8d9753f787b5ab01.png]x[/url] [b]Obligatory grammar policing:[/b] review sentence splices and dialogue rules. The minutiae makes all the difference. [center][b]RANKED MEMBERS[/b][/center] The first tab is extremely generic. The first impression I get of your lair is either your user profile or your first tab—I’m assuming you’d rather utilize that tab for now. Since this is a work in progress, you’re actively pursuing a cohesive image of your lair and working on a quick synopsis will help. Whatever you include will color my thoughts of your dragons. Sometimes one sentence is enough. In that case, tweak the wording. You can throw in an adjective for the clan leader or specify which of the Plaguebringer’s goals your clan has a special interest in. This is an easy solution to your lair having “lore so scattered it may not be easy to understand”. [center][b]ELEMENTAL TRAITORS[/b][/center] The second tab has a solid hook! I would add more colors outside of the blue-purple range for a “pan-Sornieth” vibe. Fire with red oranges, light with yellows, and arcane with pinks would fill in the gaps. [b]Side note:[/b] You weren’t kidding about “a bunch” of G1s. Not many of them call to me, but that ivory/pistachio/ginger banescale has my lightning heart beating a little faster. [center][b]INDIVIDUAL DRAGONS[/b][/center] [url=https://www1.flightrising.com/dragon/43979352][img]https://www1.flightrising.com/rendern/350/439794/43979352_350.png[/img][/url] [b]Yersinia[/b] This one. This one right here. I am looking respectfully. Yersinia is the dragon I would wax poetic about in a “dragon above you” thread. I recognized the name as part of “Y. pestis”, which implies Yersinia is a literal plaguebringer. Adding lore to a dragon’s apparel and battle stones is immersive. Thylacine gives wildclaws gnarly mohawks… and both feather tones match the armor set. Nice. [url=https://www1.flightrising.com/dragon/62010473][img]https://www1.flightrising.com/rendern/350/620105/62010473_350.png[/img][/url] [b]Arterial[/b] Arterial looks like someone set a traffic cone on top of the Wyrmwound. There are other orange colors in the first tab, though, so... some dragon shuffling may stop her from reminding me about the good ol' Driver's Ed days. [url=https://www1.flightrising.com/dragon/23308432][img]https://www1.flightrising.com/rendern/350/233085/23308432_350.png[/img][/url] [b]Hypnos[/b] I get it. I really do. Sometimes you just want a color pop. There’s nothing wrong with Hypnos close up—the eyes and armor match the bright blue and red—but it’s distracting in the lair. It trips up the flow when I glance across your rows and columns. Placement lower down with the other highly saturated dragons may offset his overwhelming wings. [url=https://www1.flightrising.com/dragon/36915226][img]https://www1.flightrising.com/rendern/350/369153/36915226_350.png[/img][/url] [b]Ulas[/b] Yes, I hate snappers. No, I didn’t pick Ulas specifically because I dislike his breed. The challenges of dressing a snapper sprite are to blame, though. This is another example of "looks good up close, looks bad in lair view". The helmet and the emblem should have grounded his undefined head... but it only muddied the lines. The glowing horn on his head makes it hard to pinpoint the face when scrolling through. I don't know if there's a solution here. No emblem could make it a lot better or a lot worse. Hm. [center][b]PRAETORIAN SUBSPECIES[/b][/center] When I hear “subspecies”, I roll my eyes. My eyes stopped rolling at the concept of a plague-lightning experiment. Of course those two would team up and create a monstrosity. Victor Frankenstein’s creation was made from harvested flesh and a spark, after all. While the description needs editing and revision to be navigated and understood… I’m into it and other people will be too. The abbreviation “PRAE” is both a reflection of the Lightning Flight’s love of science and the Plague Flight’s interest in being sacrilegious (“pray”). Reaching out to the lightning flight to name drop a couple scientists could be a fun cross-flight interaction. I enjoy the original core praetorians. The artificial core and failed subject praetorians strike me as examples of what [i]not[/i] to do with ghost and veined terts. The problem lies in 1) the contrast and 2) the underlying patterns. If you tighten the range to white and only warm off-whites, artificial core’s ghost will blend into or stand out without clashing against its primary. Avoid cool and warm clashes 98% of the time (see metals for an example of cool on cool / warm on warm silver and gold tones). The same advice may work for the failed subject… but something about three different, complex patterns feels… meh. Touch bases with people who enjoy hyper-complex gene combos.

@Silverishness I diagnose you with Halloweenie. You didn’t want as heavy of an overall lair review, so I went with more of a tab-by-tab stream of draconic consciousness. I couldn’t help but comment on some general things, though. (OH GOD THIS REVIEW IS EVEN LONGER...) Before I continue: is the Cold inspired by Game of Thrones? IF YES: this was a unique way to incorporate the White Walkers into Sornieth. IF NO / WHY DOES EVERYONE SAY THAT / GoT SUX: Oops. Well, uh, your Nier: Automata fan dragon proves you have good taste either way! You explore the dark sides of nature through themes of decay/autumn and death/winter in a way that convinces me to continue clicking through tab after tab, watching the colors change and fade. Usually plague claims death and decay, but nature does not exclude that part of the cycle and I Love To See It. I will say large lairs can be hard to navigate. Your user profile saves me by showing me tab descriptions up front. I do have to scroll for it, but I’m determined! Something that could help navigation would be a consistent bio theme, possibly matching the tab’s color palette. Elemental bios could be saved for “ambassador” dragons. Also, I wanted to accuse you of a being a UMA one-trick-pony, but the trick is so good that I forgive you and I admit that I am just envious of your dragon cash. Unless I start nitpicking ancient breeds that can’t wear apparel… I can’t claim that your accents are wearing your dragons. I’ll touch on this in a second. I clicked through every single dragon and took some notes, but I couldn’t include an endless column of dragons for both of our sakes. I highlighted things I wanted to complain about (being that I promised harsh) and things I wanted to praise (being that this isn’t a roast) instead. (ALSO, I have a song recommendation: [url=https://youtu.be/4o0SaemiN-c]x[/url]) [b]The Nesting Grounds:[/b] The first page is solid! You’ve put your best foot forward while also saving the best for later (which sounds like an impossible contradiction but it’s really not). [url=https://www1.flightrising.com/dragon/52330710][img]https://www1.flightrising.com/rendern/350/523308/52330710_350.png[/img][/url] [b]Early[/b] Here’s an example of where I want to say “hm, looks like you just slapped an accent on a dragon” but… can’t quite do it. The black linework is a little jarring but the dark sclera eyes tie it into this lovely noodle by adding black to her pastels. Python/morphs that look stained are a weakness of mine. I do wish there was more to her, like small accessory apparel, but she is very pretty and I had to eat my words when I took a closer look at her. You got me. [b]The Boneyard Proper:[/b] I wish this had the same level of organization as “The Nesting Grounds” did, but it still has a wow factor. Finally we get into the real spooky business. (Did you by any chance move Azaran from the Nesting Grounds to the Boneyard Proper…?) [url=https://www1.flightrising.com/dragon/55329074][img]https://www1.flightrising.com/rendern/350/553291/55329074_350.png[/img][/url] [b]Duvain[/b] THE HEART OF THE BONEYARD. No, seriously. Duvain characterizes the boneyard in a truly horrifying way. Between his bio and Bruthen’s, I would love to see this niche of “casual, sarcastic, irreverent horror” sprinkled across the entirety of your lair. (That way people are more likely to come across it naturally without clicking through every single dragon for a lair review. Also, seeing it applied in an array of different contexts would be fun. An unreliable narrator makes for an unreliable boneyard!) Oh, and and of course, Duvain’s appearance: he looks as described. This unfortunate soul is just a corpse obscured by leaves and flowers, with lovely gene colors to help blend him into the Autumn Clearing scene. Yikes. [b]The Gloom:[/b] Sure, FR users love their orange/purple dual-toned dragons… but this tab still shows a lot of originality and diversity. [url=https://www1.flightrising.com/dragon/23441916][img]https://www1.flightrising.com/rendern/350/234420/23441916_350.png[/img][/url] [b]Judda[/b] My first thought: …why is he here? I love his look. He’s like a stained glass art installation. He’s the only dragon that genuinely clashes with the page he’s on, though. Which is a shame because I love this funky little bug. Fae are adorable, especially when they have some glitz and glam. [b]Wild Woods:[/b] So this is where you hid your eyeburners! I love so many of the dragons on this tab, but I can only pick one because I’ve already spent like 6 hours across 3 days looking at your lair… [url=https://www1.flightrising.com/dragon/38704688][img]https://www1.flightrising.com/rendern/350/387047/38704688_350.png[/img][/url] [b]Eschaton:[/b] Listen. LISTEN. I know I’ve already talked about him in Dragon Share but I feel compelled to bang some pots and pans together about how wonderful of a snoot this is. This is a delightful rainbow of a lad with a unique feel. Radioactive trail, okay. Radioactive trail paired with a Riot Hazebeacon as an accent? Yes. YES. The sylvan headpiece is exactly what’s needed to aid the transition of leaf capsule from pure green to yellow-green. I see and love this in Lana, too, but Eschaton… *chef’s kiss* [b]The Veil:[/b] Ah, the final transitional page. I’m digging the teals. As I’ve mentioned to you before, Dral is an all-time favorite of mine in your lair. There’s enough variance to tie Vasylyna and Hyacinthe in too. [b]The Cold:[/b] My original notes described The Cold as a “let down”. Looking back, that’s too harsh even for a “harsh review” thread. I do like this tab. I even enjoy the anticlimactic nature of “toxic relationship caused the great mystery”. Things that happen in our real lives have devastating consequences—the same goes for dragons just trying to live and love. The idea of something supposed to be so warm becoming something so cold hurts. It’s a relatable pain. I do believe what I meant to imply is that I want a page full of scary wights. Bring on the freezer-burned undead! [url=https://www1.flightrising.com/dragon/49766223][img]https://www1.flightrising.com/rendern/350/497663/49766223_350.png[/img][/url] [b]Gribbok[/b] I can only describe Gribbok as a “pastel skeleton”. He’s soft and adorable while maintaining the dangerous aesthetic of the Cold. The way the silver flower crown makes it look like someone tucked a flower behind his ear… the pinnacle of subtlety with the light green-blue leaves and shimmer wings (UPDATE, that is the accent, not shimmer—great job fooling me there)… also, I winced and laughed at “you were so expensive”. Yeah, the best babies really do empty our vaults and fill our hearts. In the decay of my wallet, there is life.