Okay, so, be prepared for a looong rant. Because there is a lot I want to get off my chest. And I'm gonna start from the very beginning, just cause. Context 'n stuff. I guess.
So, I have this huge crush on someone. The kind that lasts for three years. And my crush just so happens to be one of my life-long friends. Okay, nothing weird there, happens all the time, rite? Right.
So, three years, same crush. Confessed to him, back in 11th grade, he turned me down and got himself a girlfriend just a few months after. Broke my heart, but I lived.
Year passed, I still liked him. Then we graduate, we go to different universities (not very far apart), but still keep in touch. One day, I start posting in this group chat that I really wanted to see The Martian (back when it first came out), but nobody wanted to watch it, except for him. So we decided we would go together. Now, by this time, I could have sworn I got over him. And then, just as we met in the theater's entrance, I saw his face for the first time in months, and I swear to Bossdad, the very instant I saw him, saw him smile at me, I fell for him all over again, and I fell hard. Like, I was lovestruck for like a week after, and I'm not the type of person to get lovestruck very often. It hit me like a parade of trucks, followed by a herd of elephants, closely followed by a train.
So, we see the movie, it was great, we had a great time, and then he tells me he broke up with his girlfriend a few months ago. It sounds kind of d-baggy to say it, but I felt kind of glad, and hopeful. And my friends got hella happy for me. But I didn't say anything, and we left and it was all business as usual. He told me we would go out again.
Months pass, and we go to see Deadpool together. Alright, nice, we had a good time then, too. Nothing happened between us. All normal.
Let's fast forward a bit to the past few months. We start talking a lot in a group chat. A lot. Like, it was basically just us two talking, because nobody else would, for some unknowable reason. And it was mostly just stupid stuff, us sending memes, sometimes we'd get political, and we'd have these little political debates, good stuff. We flirted a lot, but I always waved that off as a joke.
Then, and I remember the day clearly, one night in October 12, I make this innocent comment on a Facebook post, that it must be nice to be your crush's crush. "I don't know how that's like, but it must be nice," was what I said. Then he commented "Hey, what am I?"
At first, I thought he was joking. Not for one second I thought he was serious. So, I jokingly said to him, "tell that to my face, and then we can talk." He replied, "well we never go out together, so I'll never get the chance to." And then, after a few jokes, he said to me, "I'm actually scared of going on a date with you."
Lord help me, he was serious.
So then we started talking about the possibility of us being a couple, and our fears, how we were afraid of it not working out, and i confessed to him that I've been wanting this for years. In the end, we decided we could try going out on a couple of dates and decide then.
Let me repeat, this was on October. I've tried asking him out a couple of times, but he's told me no, he can't because he's busy.
And I'm honestly starting to question if he's still interested. Hell, sometimes I wonder if it all even happened. If it weren't for the screenshots in my phone, I'd think I'd dreamed it up.
Now, Christmas break has started, we're both free, and I'm half-tempted to ask him out again, or to try to talk to him about the whole thing. If he was really serious or not, if he decided to back out, I don't know. But, I'm afraid of what the answer will be. And after we talked that day, we kind of stopped talking. Like, he stopped talking in the chat, and the only way he would talk to me was if I messaged him first, that kind of stuff.
I really, really like him, and I think it's actually kind of pathetic for me to keep going on with this crush for so long. Like, where's my gd dignity, right? We've started talking regularly the past few days, again mostly memes and us making competition on the new games Facebook integrated in messenger, but I'm still uncertain. I want to give it a try, but I don't want to damage our friendship. One of my friends told me to give up, the rest say keep trying, but I honestly just don't know what to do.
So, anyone here has any advice for me?
TL;DR: Crush told me we could try going out months ago, I tried asking him out, but he's told me he's too busy. Should I still keep on trying, or should I talk to him to see what's going to happen next?
So, I have this huge crush on someone. The kind that lasts for three years. And my crush just so happens to be one of my life-long friends. Okay, nothing weird there, happens all the time, rite? Right.
So, three years, same crush. Confessed to him, back in 11th grade, he turned me down and got himself a girlfriend just a few months after. Broke my heart, but I lived.
Year passed, I still liked him. Then we graduate, we go to different universities (not very far apart), but still keep in touch. One day, I start posting in this group chat that I really wanted to see The Martian (back when it first came out), but nobody wanted to watch it, except for him. So we decided we would go together. Now, by this time, I could have sworn I got over him. And then, just as we met in the theater's entrance, I saw his face for the first time in months, and I swear to Bossdad, the very instant I saw him, saw him smile at me, I fell for him all over again, and I fell hard. Like, I was lovestruck for like a week after, and I'm not the type of person to get lovestruck very often. It hit me like a parade of trucks, followed by a herd of elephants, closely followed by a train.
So, we see the movie, it was great, we had a great time, and then he tells me he broke up with his girlfriend a few months ago. It sounds kind of d-baggy to say it, but I felt kind of glad, and hopeful. And my friends got hella happy for me. But I didn't say anything, and we left and it was all business as usual. He told me we would go out again.
Months pass, and we go to see Deadpool together. Alright, nice, we had a good time then, too. Nothing happened between us. All normal.
Let's fast forward a bit to the past few months. We start talking a lot in a group chat. A lot. Like, it was basically just us two talking, because nobody else would, for some unknowable reason. And it was mostly just stupid stuff, us sending memes, sometimes we'd get political, and we'd have these little political debates, good stuff. We flirted a lot, but I always waved that off as a joke.
Then, and I remember the day clearly, one night in October 12, I make this innocent comment on a Facebook post, that it must be nice to be your crush's crush. "I don't know how that's like, but it must be nice," was what I said. Then he commented "Hey, what am I?"
At first, I thought he was joking. Not for one second I thought he was serious. So, I jokingly said to him, "tell that to my face, and then we can talk." He replied, "well we never go out together, so I'll never get the chance to." And then, after a few jokes, he said to me, "I'm actually scared of going on a date with you."
Lord help me, he was serious.
So then we started talking about the possibility of us being a couple, and our fears, how we were afraid of it not working out, and i confessed to him that I've been wanting this for years. In the end, we decided we could try going out on a couple of dates and decide then.
Let me repeat, this was on October. I've tried asking him out a couple of times, but he's told me no, he can't because he's busy.
And I'm honestly starting to question if he's still interested. Hell, sometimes I wonder if it all even happened. If it weren't for the screenshots in my phone, I'd think I'd dreamed it up.
Now, Christmas break has started, we're both free, and I'm half-tempted to ask him out again, or to try to talk to him about the whole thing. If he was really serious or not, if he decided to back out, I don't know. But, I'm afraid of what the answer will be. And after we talked that day, we kind of stopped talking. Like, he stopped talking in the chat, and the only way he would talk to me was if I messaged him first, that kind of stuff.
I really, really like him, and I think it's actually kind of pathetic for me to keep going on with this crush for so long. Like, where's my gd dignity, right? We've started talking regularly the past few days, again mostly memes and us making competition on the new games Facebook integrated in messenger, but I'm still uncertain. I want to give it a try, but I don't want to damage our friendship. One of my friends told me to give up, the rest say keep trying, but I honestly just don't know what to do.
So, anyone here has any advice for me?
TL;DR: Crush told me we could try going out months ago, I tried asking him out, but he's told me he's too busy. Should I still keep on trying, or should I talk to him to see what's going to happen next?
