(Apologies, this has gotten somewhat rant-y)
Sooo- I've been part of my boyfriend's first Campaign for about 8 months, I believe. It was the first time I've played as well, and I'm fairly close to dropping it due to the fact I don't really enjoy the party.
Basically, 2 out of the 4 other members are infinitely more experienced than the rest of us. They've played DnD for nearly a decade, have finished countless campaigns and are currently running a few on the side as well. The problem is that they are always meta-gaming (my DM is at a point where he can never name monsters and describe them only in the most generic ways, or else they'll know all stats) and min/maxing to a point where everyone else is significantly falling behind.
Plus, they are the most boring people to RP with, since they keep their characters generic enough so that character traits can't stop them from making the most optimal decision in every situation.
I wouldn't suffer from this as much if I had a decent character, but I've had terrible rolls in the beginning and am stuck with an INT stat of 6. Not the end of the world for a Cleric, but I'm letting it have effect on my decision-making. Stuff like falling for scams and pressing buttons if they look appealing enough. And they're really not happy with that. It has gotten to a point where a) I'm not allowed to make decisions, ever b) every interaction boils down to "You're stupid".
That makes DnD not really enjoyable anymore. Instead of the normal escapeism it's supposed to provide, it is just flaring up my real-world anxiety and self-esteem issues.
I've talked to my DM and have prepped a new, better Character (a revenge Paladin I've basically poured all of my frustration into) that I'll be able to bring out once my current character dies, but y'know, what's even the point? I'm in the Process of building my first Warhammer army at the moment, and I'm very likely to abandon DnD for that. So why not do it earlier?
The only reason I'm currently staying with the Campaign is because of my bf (he does have pretty good world- and characterbuilding tbf) and the occasional out of character banter with the other less experienced players. The rest usually just feels like a chore and I get more and more frustrated and tired with every (6-8 hour!!) session.
I guess the options would be either to quit now and leave the party without a healer before a pretty significant battle or wait it out until I've tested the waters with my new char.
Well, does anyone have any tips in dealing with situations like these..?
(Apologies, this has gotten somewhat rant-y)
Sooo- I've been part of my boyfriend's first Campaign for about 8 months, I believe. It was the first time I've played as well, and I'm fairly close to dropping it due to the fact I don't really enjoy the party.
Basically, 2 out of the 4 other members are infinitely more experienced than the rest of us. They've played DnD for nearly a decade, have finished countless campaigns and are currently running a few on the side as well. The problem is that they are always meta-gaming (my DM is at a point where he can never name monsters and describe them only in the most generic ways, or else they'll know all stats) and min/maxing to a point where everyone else is significantly falling behind.
Plus, they are the most boring people to RP with, since they keep their characters generic enough so that character traits can't stop them from making the most optimal decision in every situation.
I wouldn't suffer from this as much if I had a decent character, but I've had terrible rolls in the beginning and am stuck with an INT stat of 6. Not the end of the world for a Cleric, but I'm letting it have effect on my decision-making. Stuff like falling for scams and pressing buttons if they look appealing enough. And they're really not happy with that. It has gotten to a point where a) I'm not allowed to make decisions, ever b) every interaction boils down to "You're stupid".
That makes DnD not really enjoyable anymore. Instead of the normal escapeism it's supposed to provide, it is just flaring up my real-world anxiety and self-esteem issues.
I've talked to my DM and have prepped a new, better Character (a revenge Paladin I've basically poured all of my frustration into) that I'll be able to bring out once my current character dies, but y'know, what's even the point? I'm in the Process of building my first Warhammer army at the moment, and I'm very likely to abandon DnD for that. So why not do it earlier?
The only reason I'm currently staying with the Campaign is because of my bf (he does have pretty good world- and characterbuilding tbf) and the occasional out of character banter with the other less experienced players. The rest usually just feels like a chore and I get more and more frustrated and tired with every (6-8 hour!!) session.
I guess the options would be either to quit now and leave the party without a healer before a pretty significant battle or wait it out until I've tested the waters with my new char.
Well, does anyone have any tips in dealing with situations like these..?
Sounds like you need another group tbh. That isn't a bad thing at all, some players want to RP more, and some want to play more strategically, that's just the way it is. Maybe talking to the other players about what they want from the game will clear things up for everyone.
It makes no sense in forcing yourself to play something you have little to no fun with, and I'm sure if you explain it to your bf and the other players, they will understand.
I never had this situation myself, but only because we always talked about what we want from the campaigns before starting them.
Sounds like you need another group tbh. That isn't a bad thing at all, some players want to RP more, and some want to play more strategically, that's just the way it is. Maybe talking to the other players about what they want from the game will clear things up for everyone.
It makes no sense in forcing yourself to play something you have little to no fun with, and I'm sure if you explain it to your bf and the other players, they will understand.
I never had this situation myself, but only because we always talked about what we want from the campaigns before starting them.
Stand Still. Stay Silent.
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pthn
I agree. It's probably time for a new group. I have had to leave groups for boring/aggressive players as well as peeps who were waaay beyond me. You can't fix those kinds of groups more often than not, especially if the players are more experienced, you're going to be at a disadvantage in trying to change the group's dynamics. I've played in plenty of healer-less campaigns. They'll be fine ;)
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pthn
I agree. It's probably time for a new group. I have had to leave groups for boring/aggressive players as well as peeps who were waaay beyond me. You can't fix those kinds of groups more often than not, especially if the players are more experienced, you're going to be at a disadvantage in trying to change the group's dynamics. I've played in plenty of healer-less campaigns. They'll be fine ;)
Leave the group! If you're not having fun, don't waste all that time on it. The group will be fine, and your boyfriend should understand. The whole point of D&D is to enjoy yourself. Certain groups have different strengths and weaknesses, and if you don't like the way your current campaign is going, then you're under no obligation to stay!
Leave the group! If you're not having fun, don't waste all that time on it. The group will be fine, and your boyfriend should understand. The whole point of D&D is to enjoy yourself. Certain groups have different strengths and weaknesses, and if you don't like the way your current campaign is going, then you're under no obligation to stay!
I don't have any advice but I'm playing DnD for the first time too recently. I've also been having an unfortunate experience so I'm just gonna rant, as well. Apologies because I know barely any of the terminologies other than pretty much the basics. We've only had about 3 sessions(?) and they keep progressively getting longer. This is an issue because I'm an introvert lmao. Hanging out with 5 people at once for 9 hours is absolutely exhausting for me.
The first thing that went wrong was someone who said they were gonna play with us ditched 3 times with the promise they were gonna join last time. So our DM had to fix her entire story plan. I'm only really disappointed about this because I was looking forward to playing with her, as she also has experience with character building.
Another thing is that there is 5 players (more, if you want to include the characters our DM created for world/story building). One issue with this is that our battles take SO long. I'm not sure exactly how battles are supposed to go, but I'm pretty sure they're supposed to be more exciting than just a constant loop of the same thing. The second issue is that our DM isn't the best at setting up fight scenes, or describing them. Her descriptions of hits are so bland and boring and it takes so long for us to get through one battle, so long that the end is barely worth it.
Another issue with the DM is that the characters she does create are like, super bland. I don't want to be mean, because she's inexperienced with character building, but her characters are often super demeaning, but soft-spoken if you know what I mean? They're like over-powered and cocky, but quietly. In a way that makes all of us look bad. I don't want to say anything because I don't want to sound mean, it's just as someone who has been making characters and world for years it kills me to see overpowered Mary Sues with mysterious backstories. The battles and story itself is extremely repetitive too.
I think this is the last issue, but another thing is one of the players is super condescending. I like her as a friend, but as a DnD player, she sucks. You know how some people want their characters to be right, and the best all the time? It's like that. The rest of us made character flaws, but hers has to be the strongest and always right. It's straight-up exhausting. It's like she's trying to craft her own adventure, and assuming that OUR characters are hers to meld. One of the other players and I have a running joke that we want to keep going, as it pertains to our backstories, but every time we try to bring it up she gets mad at us.
Anyways, that's it. I don't want to leave the group because they're my friends and I don't want to leave the DM hanging. But I'm definitely letting her know I'm not going to join another session that's over 5/6 hours. I hope your situation gets better, whatever you choose to do.
I don't have any advice but I'm playing DnD for the first time too recently. I've also been having an unfortunate experience so I'm just gonna rant, as well. Apologies because I know barely any of the terminologies other than pretty much the basics. We've only had about 3 sessions(?) and they keep progressively getting longer. This is an issue because I'm an introvert lmao. Hanging out with 5 people at once for 9 hours is absolutely exhausting for me.
The first thing that went wrong was someone who said they were gonna play with us ditched 3 times with the promise they were gonna join last time. So our DM had to fix her entire story plan. I'm only really disappointed about this because I was looking forward to playing with her, as she also has experience with character building.
Another thing is that there is 5 players (more, if you want to include the characters our DM created for world/story building). One issue with this is that our battles take SO long. I'm not sure exactly how battles are supposed to go, but I'm pretty sure they're supposed to be more exciting than just a constant loop of the same thing. The second issue is that our DM isn't the best at setting up fight scenes, or describing them. Her descriptions of hits are so bland and boring and it takes so long for us to get through one battle, so long that the end is barely worth it.
Another issue with the DM is that the characters she does create are like, super bland. I don't want to be mean, because she's inexperienced with character building, but her characters are often super demeaning, but soft-spoken if you know what I mean? They're like over-powered and cocky, but quietly. In a way that makes all of us look bad. I don't want to say anything because I don't want to sound mean, it's just as someone who has been making characters and world for years it kills me to see overpowered Mary Sues with mysterious backstories. The battles and story itself is extremely repetitive too.
I think this is the last issue, but another thing is one of the players is super condescending. I like her as a friend, but as a DnD player, she sucks. You know how some people want their characters to be right, and the best all the time? It's like that. The rest of us made character flaws, but hers has to be the strongest and always right. It's straight-up exhausting. It's like she's trying to craft her own adventure, and assuming that OUR characters are hers to meld. One of the other players and I have a running joke that we want to keep going, as it pertains to our backstories, but every time we try to bring it up she gets mad at us.
Anyways, that's it. I don't want to leave the group because they're my friends and I don't want to leave the DM hanging. But I'm definitely letting her know I'm not going to join another session that's over 5/6 hours. I hope your situation gets better, whatever you choose to do.
OP--
Agreeing with everyone else--leaving is probably a good choice. Sometimes groups just do not work well together because different people play differently. It's not wrong to leave the group if you're not having fun. D&D is
supposed to be fun!
If you want to play again, you can definitely find a group that works better with your style and experience. They're out there! And don't worry about a healerless campaign. Your bf will likely just wind up dropping more potions for a bit or something. He seems like he knows what he's doing.
@
Cormag
You might try asking if the players can take over describing hits. Either that or have her only describe final blows/critical hits--ie the ones that would stand out.
My former DM had us describe how we killed the monster if we got the final blow. It was really cool and helped with character building! The shyer druid got the kill on a boss monster; her description and the experience overall was so interesting that it became a running joke for a bit.
That aside, some battles really can take that long. If you and the rest of the players aren't having fun, maybe you can convince your DM to do less boss battles at least. Maybe some wandering enemies and quests would be more fun? At the very least those should go quicker. It depends on what you're all looking for out of a game, though.
All I can think for the NPCs is to shuffle in some development. Have your characters bond with them and see if it encourages her to expand on them. It's definitely a shame though; bland NPCs aren't fun.
Finally, good luck with your other player. Condescension (and that sort of molding) is very unpleasant and I'm sorry you're having to deal with it.
OP--
Agreeing with everyone else--leaving is probably a good choice. Sometimes groups just do not work well together because different people play differently. It's not wrong to leave the group if you're not having fun. D&D is
supposed to be fun!
If you want to play again, you can definitely find a group that works better with your style and experience. They're out there! And don't worry about a healerless campaign. Your bf will likely just wind up dropping more potions for a bit or something. He seems like he knows what he's doing.
@
Cormag
You might try asking if the players can take over describing hits. Either that or have her only describe final blows/critical hits--ie the ones that would stand out.
My former DM had us describe how we killed the monster if we got the final blow. It was really cool and helped with character building! The shyer druid got the kill on a boss monster; her description and the experience overall was so interesting that it became a running joke for a bit.
That aside, some battles really can take that long. If you and the rest of the players aren't having fun, maybe you can convince your DM to do less boss battles at least. Maybe some wandering enemies and quests would be more fun? At the very least those should go quicker. It depends on what you're all looking for out of a game, though.
All I can think for the NPCs is to shuffle in some development. Have your characters bond with them and see if it encourages her to expand on them. It's definitely a shame though; bland NPCs aren't fun.
Finally, good luck with your other player. Condescension (and that sort of molding) is very unpleasant and I'm sorry you're having to deal with it.
oof, i would leave that group. metagaming is a Huge no-no and playing d&d to win is..........really boring. it might take a while to find another group, but honestly that's preferable to playing with a bunch of know-it-alls that won't get into the goofy spirit of the game in favor of "winning" and treat you like crap.
edit: i also rolled a fighter character with an int of 6 and played similarly to you, and we had a fun chaotic time trying to keep her reigned in. at one point my dm let me fall for a nat 20 persuasion roll another person in my party made and it temporarily turned me against them (they tried to convince someone they were slavers just like them to get through somewhere--my chaotic good halfling was horrified to be betrayed like this). they could be having real fun with your character and they're being jerks instead, smh
oof, i would leave that group. metagaming is a Huge no-no and playing d&d to win is..........really boring. it might take a while to find another group, but honestly that's preferable to playing with a bunch of know-it-alls that won't get into the goofy spirit of the game in favor of "winning" and treat you like crap.
edit: i also rolled a fighter character with an int of 6 and played similarly to you, and we had a fun chaotic time trying to keep her reigned in. at one point my dm let me fall for a nat 20 persuasion roll another person in my party made and it temporarily turned me against them (they tried to convince someone they were slavers just like them to get through somewhere--my chaotic good halfling was horrified to be betrayed like this). they could be having real fun with your character and they're being jerks instead, smh
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I agree with the others that it just sounds like the group isn't a great fit?
It can be hard sometimes as both a player and a dm to ensure that the group and the story is enjoyable for everyone. I honestly suggest discussing this with the dm, and seeing if the group can come to an agreement as to a good compromise- a large part of dnd is team work. I'm sure the other players are also unhappy- honestly dnd looses a lot of its fun if the group doesn't enjoy each other.
If they are unwilling to compromise though, I'd suggest finding another group, or just playing one on one with your boyfriend :)
I agree with the others that it just sounds like the group isn't a great fit?
It can be hard sometimes as both a player and a dm to ensure that the group and the story is enjoyable for everyone. I honestly suggest discussing this with the dm, and seeing if the group can come to an agreement as to a good compromise- a large part of dnd is team work. I'm sure the other players are also unhappy- honestly dnd looses a lot of its fun if the group doesn't enjoy each other.
If they are unwilling to compromise though, I'd suggest finding another group, or just playing one on one with your boyfriend :)
leave the group or become a bard and give them a living hell. dnd is supposed to be fun, not a play to win, so I wish you luck on your decision.
leave the group or become a bard and give them a living hell. dnd is supposed to be fun, not a play to win, so I wish you luck on your decision.
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[quote name="BornofFlame" date="2020-02-18 08:29:43" ]
leave the group or become a bard and give them a living hell. dnd is supposed to be fun, not a play to win, so I wish you luck on your decision.
[/quote]
Agreed. DnD is supposed to be focused on fun, staying in character, and making the decisions your character would most likely make if they were a real person. Those people don't know how to have fun.
I have a friend who rolled an int stat of 5-7, and he played his character extremely well. His character was a dragonborn barbarian, who was driven by his sense of justice but hindered by his own stupidity. The dude picks stuff off the floor and bites it!
I recommend maybe asking to start a group not including the two 'experienced' players. Gosh, it hurts to say that. Are they really experienced if they don't know how to play the game the way it was meant to be played? Grr.
BornofFlame wrote on 2020-02-18 08:29:43:
leave the group or become a bard and give them a living hell. dnd is supposed to be fun, not a play to win, so I wish you luck on your decision.
Agreed. DnD is supposed to be focused on fun, staying in character, and making the decisions your character would most likely make if they were a real person. Those people don't know how to have fun.
I have a friend who rolled an int stat of 5-7, and he played his character extremely well. His character was a dragonborn barbarian, who was driven by his sense of justice but hindered by his own stupidity. The dude picks stuff off the floor and bites it!
I recommend maybe asking to start a group not including the two 'experienced' players. Gosh, it hurts to say that. Are they really experienced if they don't know how to play the game the way it was meant to be played? Grr.
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